What have we been up to?

Lots!!


https://plus.google.com/photos/106280478432104370538/albums/6075112774126814129?authkey=CMWl06fC4-fOJQ

2 months old

(maybe if I open this web page next time I come back to my computer to quickly order something from Amazon (about the only time it gets used these days) I'll remember to jot my thoughts down)

Oh look, it worked!  Not even 20 hours later I'm back to check email and here I am.

Here is the update for how we've adjusted as a family of 5....

Evan: goes back to work tomorrow and has loved his time off. We have decided that every company needs to give their employees 2 weeks off for a health break every few years.  Not just vacation but time to be at home, eat healthy meals while not running from meeting to meeting, have legitimate time to get fresh air, and work our, and spend time with your family every day.  It's good for the soul but it's also good for your health.  He's going back to work refreshed happier,  and a few lbs lighter.

Sarah: Has loved having Evan home and the company/companionship.  I'll admit summer maternity leave was not what i expected it to be.  A lot of activities are restrictive due to the ages of our kids.  Wesley can't do things with out supervision/help and having the infant limits my ability to help.  BUT we got in lots of cool fun things anyway and I'm slowly getting back in to the habit of back to school (remembering bed time, remembering to bathe the kids, remembering to wake people up in time to get ready and to school)  However I'm getting to bed earlier since the boys go to bed earlier which means waking up is a little easier.

Walter: has Mrs. Whipple for 1st grade.   She's not THE teacher like his K teacher was but she's good and Walter thinks she's funny.  She was a teacher years ago and then raised her family.  For the last 2 years was a half time aid so this is her first year back in a a classroom and it shows.  He has a shocking 20 kids in his class (amazing!!) and one 1 "best friend" but that's OK because they all get together at recess and at night/over the weekend. He's getting more in to Parkour which he takes 2 times a week and has drastically improved at soccer.  His team actually knows what they are doing now, there is distinct offense and defense and they look great.  It's going to be a fun season with 4 Spiritridge teams so lots of friends to play against.   Next week he starts a running program to run 25 miles before the Seattle marathon on Thanksgiving weekend.  He has to run approximately 2.5 miles per week.  Another mom and I are organizing it so I'm really anxious to see how it works, if the kids fizzle out or if they keep it up through the next 2 months.

Wesley; is two and half, need I say more?  He's our struggle at the moment.  He's a joy and so much fun to be around until he's not and then he's REALLY not.  He thrives on positive 1:1 attention and we have to remember than when things start to go sideways.  He also adores his brother who is starting to want to play without him.  A few times this week he got the privilege of playing outside with the big kids and they kindly included him in their games.  He's going to miss his daddy being home with him.  His current obsessions are ninja's trains (thomas), Chuck Trucks and anything Walter likes.

Elaina: Now two months old!
She's 11# on the nose (42% down from 81%) and 24 inches tall (96%, same as she was last month)
She's sleeping "through the night" about 3-5 nights a week.  She's up sometime between 5am and 7am, depending on when she went down for the night.  We get about 5 hour stretches out of her.  She takes a bottle like a champ, hot cold, fast, slow, no big deal to this girl.  She's rather dramatic.  When she has a need the entire neighborhood knows about it.  She doesn't like her car seat very much which makes car rides stressful for us all but we are learning it's typically a crime of opportunity.  She has to be 100%  dry, fed,, but not just fed, so her food has settled,  and sufficiently entertained for it to go well.  She smiles and mimics faces, especially if Walter or daddy are involved.  She likes to walk, but not run in the stroller, a lesson hard learned when we were out for a run and 1.5 miles away from home when girlfriend wasn't havin it.

We had her 2 month appt this week.  It was at 3pm which is in the middle of nap time.  and she got shots and she kept getting woken up and stripped naked.  So she was grumpy and a wreck.  She's got a bit of cradle cap too.  I decided I now want a female pediatrician, who also has kids similar ages.  I want someone who's more "current" and less "medical".  He thought for sure she's an unhappy baby and it's probably because of something in my milk and so let's just switch to special formula  that is anti-allergen and will make her a "whole new baby".  I'm not happy about it, i didn't ask!   I didn't go in there stressed out lookng or a solution to make her a "whole new baby".  So now we are switching.  And I have 5 cans of expensive formula in case we need it.

Our Home: is running as well as can be expected.  I'm thrilled the kids can put away their own laundry, get out dishes, set the table and put away dishes.  Walter helps put away the groceries.  I've outsourced everything I can.  We get milk diary, bread, eggs, and fresh fruits and veggies delivered.  We now have coffee, vitamins, granola, quest bars and hand full of school lunch appropriate food delivered monthly through amazon in addition to diapers.  We are meal planning through our freezer stash on nights when it's not OK to grill.  I'm going to be really sad when grilling season is over.

Did I write about our trip to Oregon yet?  we had a great time.  There is so much to do in Oregon it's really sad we haven't done more of it yet.  We have ideas on our next few trips!

Here are the pictures!
https://plus.google.com/photos/106280478432104370538/albums/6053989558898325633?authkey=CL3U7vPqlt6Teg

What I love about vacation (so far)

On our way to the beach we decided to stop in Portland because, why not.
We've had a great first day. Elaina did well in the car we only had to stop twice and only drove through  25 minutes of crying but that was about 4 miles so we can't blame her.  We are in a great hotel in a great spot.

My favorite part of vacation is imagining our lives in different scenarios and the fun we have talking about what it'd be like to live "here". In Portland it's - sell almost everything and live an urban lifestyle. Play at parks and in fountains every night. Explore book stores and thrift stores. Walk to dinner and to the drug store for Tylenol.  Portland is just a much more livable downtown from ours. It's not divided up by lakes and highways and huge hills. It's walkable and it's interesting. But we are visitors and it's a beautiful day so I'm sure it's always like this.

Elaina and I went on a nice walk exploring/trying to find a drug store while Evan put the boys to bed. She loves to be out in the fresh air and seeing/meeting new people.

It's such a treat to have live tv. Seems silly thing to enjoy on vacation but we don't have/can't get live tv at home so it's a nice treat.

I. Love the reward of a great meal after researching where to go.

Tomorrow is the science museum and trying out some coffee shops that get great reviews. The. We head to the beach where it's supposed to rain, but that's kinda the thing with the Oregon Coast.  We all can't wait!

End of summer (WHAT??) update

I JUST Sat down with my coffee in a quiet house as all are asleep, currently.  I just nursed Elaina back to sleep and put her in her bed, something that has happened 2 times since she's been born.  She still gets a bit of tummy ache after she eats so normally it's in the swing, or rocked or (GASP) back to our bed to sleep with us.  But today, the day after her first 9 hour night, she went back to her bed and seems to be asleep!

Elaina: she's almost 6 weeks old which is just insane.  She still has some troubles with her tummy but she's getting better each week.  The last two days she's been quite a fit.  girlfriend cat naps instead of taking a real snooze during the day so she's TIRED for a good portion of the day and as a result unhappy.  She'll calm while in a carrier (the sling being her favorite of course because it's my least favorite and the one Evan can't wear) BUT the upside to this is that she zonks out at night and sleeps hard.  We've had a lot of conversations about would we rather her be happy during the day or sleep through the night?  We've decided both is the optimal plan!    She took her first bottle monday like a champ and then thursday was less in to it.  After almost 5 hours she was ready to see me when I got home.

Wesley is the perfect combination of sweet and sour right now.  when we aren't laughing at how silly and sweet he is we are pulling our hair out at him screaming or not listening or general disregard for authority.  He is 110% not interested in potty training.  so much that we'll hang out for 5 hours and drink glasses and glasses of water and not pee once and then the second we have to leave for a 5 minute errand he pees.  He is quite a bit jealous.  Having Evan around helps a bit but it's not always good enough for him.  They have been spending a lot of 1:1 time to get him the attention he needs.  The poor kid is constantly hearing "not now, wait till I'm done feeding Elaina".  He's also decided food is for chumps.  He eats 1 thing per meal.  I'm surprised he doesn't cry out of starvation  But he doesn't get snacks or other options if he's not going to eat his meals.  we started a reprogramming boot camp and he's coming around but we still have some work to do.  Oh yeah, did I mention he's 2 1/2?  That might be a small part of it :)

Walter pretty much takes care of himself :)  He had his last week of camp which was wilerness awareness camp and it was so fab.  Of course it was the one week with absolutely no cover of any sort and it rained AND thunder stormed most of the week.  It didn't slow the kids down though!  They still had a blast.  He's so so so ready for first grade.  He picked out his new backpack that will hold all his stuff and his new lunch box.  He's going to start full day on Sept 2nd.  He's going camping with friends this weekend and then, the highlight of his summer is seeing his BFF's beach house next week.  We are heading as a family to the Oregon Coast for 3 nights with a 1 night stop in Portland to sight see.

Evan is officially on paternity leave.  We are all thrilled to have him here.  I'm going to do lots of crazy things like get my hair cut, go to the grocery store alone, lots of fun things I tell ya.  One of his hockey leagues finished up for the summer which means he's back to only hockey on Sundays now.

I could write a novel about me but I won't.  I'll just say this: I've gotten some exercise, we've gotten out of the house AS A FAMILY (way different than me and the 3 kids) and that has done a world of good for my spirit.  I finally see a light and finally feel like the fog of discontent has lifted.  We debated about when Evan should take his leave and although it doesn't save us any money in daycare, it's so much better for my soul to have him here with us these last 2 weeks of summer.  I need his help, emotional, moral, and physical, more than with the previous 2 kids.  Maybe it's the ages of the younger or that i"m just not cut out to be a mom of three but something is different this time around and I really want to love it, but so far I don't.  (It's getting better I'll give you that).  And before I start to say too much or start to cry, I hear laughter from the boys room.  while I have a chance i'm going to go cuddle them.  I hope it's not 6 weeks before you hear from us again but then again, maybe we'll be so busy enjoying our last days of summer I'll forget to come back!

Three weeks in to a family of five

And we are so far all surviving.  We had 2 weeks of visitors (Evan's family) and a week where the boys were sent off to Iowa so it was just the three of us.  We did a lot of "not much".  We ate, we drank a few bottles of wine, we sat on the deck for hours and just.talked.  Elaina and I slept in till 9 a few days.  And we cuddled on the couch when she didn't feel like being set down.  It worked like a charm and but we missed the boys terribly.

We are all under the same roof again with my parents here for the week.  The weather is "summer perfect" again which just means it's a bit warmer than comfortable for cooking.  We have some meals being delivered and when that doesn't happen we grill. 

I'll update on the kids when the battery isn't about to die.  And pictures!  There are so many pictures. 

40 + weeks pregnant part 2 AKA Elaina's birth

Welcome to the world, Elaina Leigh Keibler.  Born July 8th at 7:56pm
8# 9 oz and 20.5 inches long.  Here is the story of your due date + the next 48 hours and your first week in this crazy house hold.  Most have already heard this story through phone calls, emails and text messages.  We love hearing from you and thank you for reaching out.  I want to document this story before I wake up and you are 3 years old and I've forgotten all of the fun details.  Kinda like the nurse in the delivery room asked me for your baby book to put your foot prints in and Evan and I looked at each other like "uh.....baby book.  Right.  We should get one of those".  Sorry third child.  We'll make up for it by spoiling you rotten in your coming years.

July 6th was my due date.  A non-eventful Sunday evening.  There was no hockey thanks to the holiday weekend so we got to have lots of time with Evan.  A nice relaxing dinner, early bed time, nothing out of the ordinary since I was not having a baby.

Monday July 7th I had a mid wife appointment and was disappointed that there had been zero change from the week prior.  I asked Laura the mid wife to swipe my membranes anyhow even though we both knew it was unlikely to bring me back to the hospital that day. I even made an appointment to come back 1 week later. Her heart beat had slowed down from the 140's to the 120's so they said to come in for a non stress test on Tuesday and if her HB stayed low or went lower they might induce "before the weekend" but that the hospital induction schedule was full.  I was defeated.  But I had hope since I knew I wouldn't be pregnant for ever.  I called Evan's parents who agreed to come out on Wednesday.  With a plan for their arrival and a tentative plan for her induction I had a lot less to worry about.  So  I shopped some, lunched by myself in the sunshine and picked up the boys early from day camp to go get some pool time in.  It was glorious.  They splashed and ran through the waves of the wave pool to wear them selves out and I floated around not hot, not feeling all the pressure thanks to the water.  I was having some contractions that day but nothing to do any sort of progress.  Until about 4am.

At 4am on Tuesday July  8th I was woken up by contractions.  I started timing them and they were about 6 or 7 minutes apart. I couldn't get back to sleep so I showered, that didn't stop them.  I got ready, packed my bag.  Packed the boys bag and woke Evan around 5am.  I let the "on call" folks know that something was happening and we might have a baby that day.  Our goal was to wait till 6:30 or 7am to take the boys to camp and then head to the hospital but as soon as my contractions hit 5 minutes a part I got nervous (3rd baby and all) and called L&D.  They said to come in if they hit 5 minutes.  So we dropped the boys off asleep at Lizzy's half asleep, made arrangements for the day.  Evan's parents were going to arrive the next day so we only had 24 hours to cover those kids in their various stages of needing to get places. 

We got to the hospital around 5:45 and we were sent home by 7am (2.75 cm dilated. Just 1 cm more than 24 hours prior after hours of contractions).  I was hooked up to the monitors and had ZERO contractions.  As soon as the nurse left the room I had 1 and then when I was unhooked and getting ready to go home I had about 3 more.  The girl just doesn't like an audience.  My discharge instructions said to follow up with my midwife in one week.  I was furious!  I went from excitement and anticipation to anger in 3 seconds.  We went home and picked the boys up from Lizzy's.  Evan fed them, packed lunches and took them to camp.  I laid down and as soon as I did contractions started again.  Around 10am they moved to my back.  I went in to the tub and they slowed considerably but they were still gaining in intensity.  The tub was hot (it was approaching 85 degrees outside and inside) so I alternated between our bed, the ball and the tub from about 10am to about 2pm.  After ending up almost in tears a few times that "i can't do this for 3 more days, I can't be in labor for 3 days" evan encouraged me to call the midwife and see what they said.  She said to come in and they would check me and we'd make a plan.  Since my contractions never got closer together than 7 minutes, I wasn't in active labor and going to the hospital would prove defeating again.    The MW office would at least be quicker, I could check the HB an see if I progressed any.  I was still having pretty strong contractions about every 7 or 8 minutes.  She checked me, I was at a 4+ so the stronger contractions were doing something but not quite enough.  They hooked me up to the monitors and....you guessed it.  Zero contractions.  ZERO!  for 40+ minutes I had zero contractions.  She gave me 2 options.  I could go to the hospital since I'd made progress in the last 8 hours (not much) but since I didn't appear to be in active labor (hello no contractions) it's possible i'd be sent home.  Or I could go home, take some Tylenol PM, try to get a good night sleep and see what the next day brought.  We opted for the later since we'd already had enough of the "you aren't in labor" conversations for the day.  I of course contracted all the way home and so much in fact that I got back in the tub when we got home.  It was just after 5pm and Evan went to pick up the boys from Lizzy's.  At 6:30 he took them for dinner and to pick up the Tylenol PM.  It was the first time all day that he left my side.  And he was going to be gone for all of 20 minutes. 

At 6:42 my water broke in the middle of one helluva intense contraction. 
I panicked for a minute then called Evan who didn't answer.  I texted him then got in the shower to try to calm the contractions that were coming 1 on top of the other.  I called him again at about 10 to 7.  He answered and I asked how long till they were home?  My water broke and we needed to get some things planned.  They were home with in 10 minutes.  I called Lizzy and Rachel.  Lizzy came over to help me get things in order.  Evan and the boys got home and they rushed out the door while he and I got in the car.  Luckily we already had things pretty much in order and we already had a plan for the evening.  Lizzy would keep them until about 9:30 at which point Rachel would come get them and bring them to our house to sleep with them.  She would take them to camp and then Evan's parents would pick them up on Wednesday morning when they got in from the airport.  (poor Rachel, more on that later)
I don't know for sure what time we left the house but it was around 7:20.  We got to the hospital at 7:35.  Elaina was born at 7:56.  As soon as Evan pulled in to the parking garage I made him stop the car so I could get out.  I wasn't going to be able to sit down for 1 second longer. He parked and came to get me but I wasn't sure I wanted to move from that spot.  It was only a few more steps to the door then just a short elevator ride to L&D but I was pretty sure that was going to be way too far for me to go.  I wasn't interested in a wheel chair either though.  He coaxed me to start moving and at 7:39 we were at L&D.  We were greeted by Ashley who was our nurse the first time we were at the hospital that day.  My midwife had called to say that we might be back that night.  She was right (unfortunately I didn't return the favor and call her when my water broke or maybe she would have made it in time for the delivery).  I asked first for the anesthesiologist.  She said, I don't think that's going to happen based on how you look right now but let's get you in a bed and check you out.  I said is there anything you can give me?  I've been dong this sine 4am.  I'm exhausted and sore and can't take it 1 minute longer.  I got in the bed, they checked me, I let them know I was pretty sure there was meconium in my fluid, they confirmed and called the NICU team   Sure enough I was fully dilated 100% effaced and ready to have a baby as soon as I got in the bed.  I asked when I could push and they said as soon as the on call hospitalist got there.  They asked if I could wait for Peggy, my MF and I said not a chance.  By 7:50 I was pushing and at 7:56 she was born.  Peggy got there in time to deliver the placenta and then at 8:15 they started the process to admit me to the hospital. 

She had a name right away when she was born; we used our time wisely during the day on the 8th, while I was not in labor,  to finalize her first name.  She didn't have a middle name until she was half a day old though.  She cleared her APGARS right away even with the mec.  Her first 4 hours all she wanted to do was to nurse and to suck.  We got to the post partum room just after 10pm and I was hoping for some relief: a paci or a helpful nurse but they no longer give paci's at the hospital (???) and the nurses encourage you to nurse as long as the baby wants.  All great but I was exhausted.  Like the most tired I've ever been even considering Ragnar and running 19 miles in 28 hours with 3 hours of sleep.  I was also starving since I'd had about nothing to eat that entire day.  She finally took a little snooze around 2am and Evan and I slept then too.  We were up for the day at about 7am when all of the people stop by to do all of the baby things.  The boys got to meet her around 11am and they were in love at the first sight.  It was impossibly hard for me to wait that long for them to meet her but with an 8pm birth and a very hectic schedule that's the earliest we could make it work. 

It's taken me hours longer than I hoped to write this and Elaina is asleep so I should be too.  I'll be back to fill in the pieces on how she's adjusting and how we are adjusting to her.  In the mean time here are photos uncaptioned and not in order but you get the idea. 
https://plus.google.com/photos/106280478432104370538/albums/6037991164643460817?authkey=CJXGq_GqlLzYIw

40 weeks pregnant: What's that feel like?

For some reason I had it in my head that I would be done being pregnant by now.  I'm pretty sure everyone else expected me to still be pregnant but not me.  I thought she'd be here before the holiday.  And then I didn't want her to come over the holiday because everyone's schedules are so unpredictable this weekend and my biggest fear would come true, we'd birth our third child while our first two waited in the waiting room with ipads..  But that didn't happen (yet) because she never did come over the holiday weekend.  It wasn't till Thursday evening that I really believed I'd be pregnant for 40 weeks.  And here I am just at 40 weeks.  Technically she could come in the next 5 hours making her a due date baby but given the lack of contractions and any real signs of labor, I'd say that's an unlikely scenario.

I just want to get these thoughts down because this is exactly it: we were at a birthday party today and someone snuggling their newborn baby (born at 38.5 weeks) said this to me which was spot on.  At the end I was just so depressed.  And she's right.  I am depressed.  I am miserably 40 weeks pregnant and still don't have the prize, the baby and there is nothing I can do to become comfortable and everything I want to do is impossible or exhausting.  Everything I want to eat makes me miserable.  This includes beverages which is bad considering it's 80+ degrees outside and we've been outside or in a hot house all weekend long.  I can't  sit for too long or stand for too long or walk for too long or be still for too long.  I can only lay down when I am absolutely 100% ready to pass out or the restless legs and heartburn will keep me up till just before I have to pee and then it all starts over again. I want to splash in the sprinkler with my boys and make a big huge water fight obstacle course but that's not happening and I get sad for them.  That their start to summer and their holiday is held together by what energy I can barely muster.   
 
Going through years of infertility you learn not to complain about pregnancy.  I think I did a good job of not complaining through the first 16 weeks of 'anytime of day sickness' and cherished that growing life inside.  I am thankful every day that I am able to carry a pregnancy to term and am able to do so without bed rest or heavy restrictions or complications to myself or the baby  I praise God we've been lucky to not have to deal with any health scares or complications and that this baby girl is doing what she should be doing: growing and growing and growing.  I know that I shouldn't complain and I should look at all of this as the blessing and the miracle that it is.  So please forgive me for momentarily getting my thoughts out so that I can move past them and continue to be anxious in a positive way knowing that, no, I won't be pregnant forever.  In the scheme of all things that could be temporary this is the most temporary.  It will be over very soon.

We kept 4th of july very simple this year. It was great  grilled burger, dogs, chicken salmon and brats.  Made fruit salad and guac.  Paper everything and it was all eaten and cleaned up before we went to bed which was perfect.  Lower key this year then last.  No injured children,  More fireworks because the kids were really in to in this year and the "circle" in our neighborhood has really expanded in the last few months.  we started with sparklers at 7:30 and ended with the "big ones" at just past 10:15.  Since we didn't drive anywhere a little sweeping of the street and scavenging for neighbors empty garbage cans, we were home and in bed at a decent time.  Wesley was only afraid for about 1 minute then he loved every minute.   It really was pretty perfect for our current situation. 

No work for me the rest of the week.  It's a good and bad thing.  I've got some things to keep me busy the first part of the week  We need the kids in day camp in case I do go in to labor they have someplace known and predictable to go during the day.   We DONT have anything lined up for next week though so that could be a challenge if she stays put another week.  Better go buy another ipad. 

It's gonna be hot (relatively) here this week.  Evan accused me of wanting to be pregnant in the summer.  No, I wanted to be OFF in the summer enjoying our baby, not carrying her around in my belly during the hot weather.  Hot weather is another thing I swore I would never complain about so I'm going to suck it up and not complain.  Instead I'm going to give up cooking this week, when we are tired of hamburgers, chicken, and sausages on the grill we will order in or eat out or take a picnic to the park.  And we'll deal with it like normal people not carrying around an extra person would do.  tomorrow is a pool date with some friends for the 4-7 session so we'll eat there.  So there.  I have 1 night meal planned.  I'm better than I thought I was!

I've got close to 1 million things to say, and things that I should document for myself and for those that like to keep up with our lives.  I don't have time for 1 Million things so I'll try to get in 10 and then try to remember to come back later for more.

10- Today Evan visited Walter's class.  Walter is "Prince of the Week", he's been waiting for this the entire year.  Evan came in to talk to the class and then had lunch and Walter has been talking about it non stop.  I can't wait to hear all about it.  Evan was nervous: we spent some time last night talking about what he should say and what they would care about and want to know.  That little boy is SO PROUD to say his daddy works for Xbox, I'm sure Evan didn't disappoint.  I got a text from his teacher that he shared a nice pitch about technology being "cool" because people make it cool and that it's important to be part of the discovery  and development by listening to your teacher, trying new things, and always looking for ways to do things differently.  I hope these 6 year olds remember that in 20 years!!

9- Walter and I just got back from New York with Annika and Lizzy.  Had you told me in January that taking a 6 year old to NYC for 4 days while 32 weeks pregnant was a crazy idea, i guarantee you I would not have listened.  Truth be told, it was a great trip.  My body and the baby did great.  Lizzy and Annika were perhaps the perfect people for us to travel with since they weren't even excited about the 6 block walk to the theater so my normal "must see it all by foot" travel wasn't on the agenda.  Walter wrote some great journal entries I'll have to share the trip from his view but I will say I will forever cherish that me-and-him time. I can't say enough how much he enjoyed being the one who got all the attention and to make all the decisions.  I'm so  so glad we did this before his sister came.  And I'm equally glad Evan and wesley got their 1:1 time in.  I noticed yesterday when the boys came in to wake us up Wesley ran over to Daddy first, which has NEVER happened.  He now "lets" Daddy hug him first and "carry you" and it's not all "mommy do".  That will be really helpful when baby girl is here, too!

8- I'm in full on end-of-year mode.  School carnival, next year PTSA planning, home work is getting HARDER (What?  Why?) and work is busy this time of year as everyone gears up for summer and not wanting to work.  Every night but Thursday there is some sport/activity/ or commitment and I'm anxious for that all to wrap up.

7-I really really don't care about work, like, at all.  Every day every drama I say to myself "in 7 weeks this won't be my problem" and it's really starting to effect my quality of work (maybe that is good?)

6- we may or may not be moving.  We may or may not put in an offer on a house tomorrow which would me, if they accept it, we will have to sell our house.  Which would mean we have to stage our house to sell and I can't even deal with what that means of our disaster of a house.  I will not do more than 1 open house and I will not list it for more than 2 weeks.  Our offer is pretty ridiculous but the builder is pretty anxious to sell so he may take it just to have something on the hook.  I'm all full of concern and regret on both sides of the story, I could write for hours just about my "but what if" scenarios of keeping and of selling.  I can't even assign an % of likelyhood to the idea of moving.

5- That will have to be it for now.  I have to go pick up my car that was taken in for a simple oil change and will come home with new tires thanks to a nail and repaired rock chips I didn't even know I had.  And as a side note I will never buy another new car with out a "toyota care" type option again.  It's SOOOO nice to just be able to say "sure" when they ask me if I want all of the everythings done/replaced.

not much, just a little of this and that

That's how we answer the questions we get "what are you guys up to?  How are things?"

Except here is the things.  I am over my head in responsibility.  It all comes at once, doesn't it?  
HOA; nothing for months and then in days notice lots of deadlines and deliverables with little notice. 
The Guild: we have an amazing event coming up.  I'm so excited for it.  But it's October 4th and that means the next 2 months I'll be spending a lot of my "down" time getting things lined up for our inaugural event which in a flash went from a modest $7,000 fund raising goal to $25,000 fund raising goal.  I really really am enjoying planning this event so I'm trying to keep my complaining to a minimum but there is a severe personality conflict with one of the co-chairs and, well, pretty much everyone else.  It will be a challenge to overcome. 
PTSA I simply ask one question and get myself a nod as co-chair for the school carnival. Which is June 6th.  So I just finished up all of the to-do's for teacher appreciation week/month and now it's full steam ahead in to the carnival planning. 

And then there is the fact that it's pretty likely I'm switching jobs after the baby is born.  So I'll be spending my time at work wrapping things up, getting my ducks in a row and preparing for the next chapter. 

In the next two weeks we will either be listing our house for sale to hopefully buy our next home or we will be refi-ing our current home to cut our current mortgage to be paid off in half the time.  Although the next 2 weeks will be full of ups and downs, the end result, either way it goes, will be very very good.  We'll either have the space we want for the next phase in our lives, or the means to aggressively save to get something that might be even more perfect for us when it comes available.  We have decided to let go and let God and see where things end up.  I keep looking for a red flag or a warning sign but none are coming.  Even Evan my calm in the storm, my logic, he hasn't stopped any of this yet.  So we'll continue to keep this ball rolling until it stops. 

And I'm off to paint my nails and scrounge up something to wear to my seminar tomorrow because the dry cleaner, and Fed Ex and the nail salon all close at 7pm.  In order  to look semi-professional tomorrow since the 3 things that actually fit me well are stuck at the cleaner. 
 

Happy Easter, Photo Style

 From earlier this week but Walter showing his dad he learned how to ride a bike without training wheels while Evan as gone

 From Easter Sunday: Annika and Walter ready to hunt some eggs

Our family: V1 with Evan's eyes closed

And the version without Evan's eyes closed.  

Today after church we went to fantastic brunch at The local Golf Club.  We had a great brunch after a quick egg hunt.  

Yesterday was a 2 part hunt: a small one in our neighborhood.  Walter missed it due to baseball but Wesley came and helped me work it.  Then we braved horrible weather and did a hunt in the pouring rain at Fox Hollow Farm.  It didn't take Wesley long to learn that eggs had candy in them and that he should grab as many as he could when he saw them!

And just because here is me 30 weeks pregnant with baby girl.  One from Friday after working out and I felt especially huge tonight after stuffing my face so one from today.  Also after I got about 9 inches chopped off of my hair on Friday.

pictures updated for March and April

That's about all my energy, so that's what we've been up to.
Enjoy!

I need to write down some of the incredibly awesome things about the weekend so that I can try to drag myself up out of this funk for the night.  

As morbid as it sounds, I'll go ahead and say I would never be a good single mom.  It's just not as much fun with these fun adorable kiddos when you can't share it with someone!  Sundays are hockey night.  I miss Evan a lot on Sunday nights!

I'm sitting on the couch in the room the farthest away from Wesley as possible.  As he lays in bed and shouts at me "lay down, lay down" because he wants me to come lay down with him.  But I'm not going to.  I already did that.  And he already bit me, poked my eyes and nostrils multiple times, and refused to stop rolling over on top of me.  So I left and I'm not going back tonight.  I'm also not able to go in to the kitchen.  Last Sunday our oven wouldn't turn on.  The first part of the week we feverishly worked to try to find parts, potential repair people, ect.. and then lost steam when the store that carries the part closes at 5pm (after I rushed there after work with 2 tired hungry kids and got there at 6pm), and then by "carry" they meant can get it if they order it (would be there 2 days later).  we finally got the heating element yesterday and Evan repaired it today.  He also though wanted to clean it before he fixed it so the kitchen is filled with fumes. So I'll add 20 minutes to my morning to pack lunches.

We also have no groceries.  Tomorrow is our only day this week: we leave for San Diego Tuesday at 6am.  So I'll have to get creative with lunches tomorrow.  I now have an oven and can make quesadillas again! 

OH right, I was going to highlight all the amazing things right?  The food.  We managed well without an oven!  We have neighbors that rescued us and we ate a lot of creative foods on the grill and stove top.  Calzones on the grill are way too easy and will be a norm.  My neighbor Betsy's fried rice and beef skewers might be Wesleys' favorite food ever.  The little boy who never eats asked for more 10 times.  Tonight we also splurged for dinner out (the whole not being able to use the kitchen thing) and he ate more than Walter and i put together.  Apparently when his pediatrician told me if he gets hungry enough, he will in fact eat, she was right on!  

Walter had his first baseball game yesterday.  Like real baseball.  Real rules, real outs, real strikes.  We were all SHOCKED at the game.  No more pile of kids at each hit of the ball, no more kicking and throwing sand.  And they can hit the ball!  And they can run, and throw!  Walter did great, far better than we imagined.  Admittedly we expected 2 strikes outs and then a tearful refusal to play any more baseball.  Instead, he got a base hit and an RBI (the only run his team scored).  He played third base and actually only went for the ball hit his way, chased them down, and threw them in where he was supposed to.  So, we promised him a new bat and we bought one.  Do you know how much bats cost?  There was a bat for single A baseball, for 5 and 6 year olds that cost $80!!!  Looks like baseball might be in our family for at least another season.  

Wesley so badly wants to play  baseball.  Or pretty much anything his brother does.  He wants a baseball hat and walked around all day saturday with base ball in his hand and a glove on his other hand.  

Wesley has hit that "what I want when I want" phase.  He laughs when I tell him what to do. It makes me crazy.  He does things like falls down, starts to cry and says "walter hit me" which is impossible because walter was sitting right next to me the entire time.  he threw his helmet at me today because his legs aren't long enough to touch the ground on his bike yet.  

I am pregnant and I am tired.  I have heart burn at the thought of food and if I have to sit down to a-tie a shoe b-put on a shoe or c- (the worst yet) change over the laundry in our front load machine I might not ever get up again.  I am hungry all the time but nothing tastes good or fills me up.  I think being in the 3rd trimester now my days of extra energy are gone.  This week Evan worked hard to help me with my new motto: Just because I can doesn't mean I have to.  and  "Just because I can, doesn't mean that other people should".  Like Tuesday after working out, picking up the kids, stopping at the store and then needing to get all the bags of crap and all the groceries inside, I just didn't.  I let Evan do it and I came inside and sat at the table until dinner was on a plate in front of me.  And just because I can take both kids to swimming, and spend 30 minutes in the water, then shower, then dress, then home doesn't mean that Evan should or that he would even want to try to do it by himself.  And so I ask for help (and get it with a happy attitude).  Baby is doing great, Evan's excited to finally get to feel her move.  Walter is warming up to the idea of a sister.  Still says he wants a brother but he hugs and kisses my belly all the time.  He calls her sparkle.  our compromise is to let him call her that till she's born, then mom and dad get to choose the name.  He doesn't not like any of our choices :)

I'm also dealing with some major house disappointment.  We went to see a house today that I spent far to long loving.  I know that if I have to talk Evan in to it, it's the wrong house for us, and I know it wasn't the house, but I think I fell in love with it before we even went to see it and then tried to talk us both in to it.  And there is just zero inventory.  Zero houses that we would jump at a chance to live in.  BUT there is a light.  We saw a "proposed land use" sign today in a neighborhood near our house.  Proposed use is 8 sub divided single family lots.  So....we are looking to see if we can get some more info.  1- it buys us time to get the baby here and and figure out our new lifestyle.  2- it's got a lot of things we haven't found: something in a great neighborhood built in the last 10-15 years and close to all the friends we have made and not 20 miles further from everything we have grown to love living near.  Last time there was a pocket community like this we found out too late to get in on it.  We don't want that to happen again.  

And I have got to get to bed.  I've been trying to get  nap in since 2:15 and now it's well past bedtime. I have a post pending all about being a girl mom and I need to finish sorting through all my thoughts to finish it.  More to come on that!  

St. Paddy's Day, 2014

I'm coming on real quickly to write some things down that I don't want to forget later.
I'm coming to you fresh from a tiny little cat nap.  This little cat nap means so much though.  Here's why.

It's 8:48pm and I was cat napping in Walter and Wesleys room.  Yep, they have "their room" now.  Both boys are intended to sleep in their bunk bed all night long.   We've been going at this since Thursday and it's gone pretty well; much better than I ever anticipated. First important this this cat nap says: Walter is getting so much more independent.  Evan has hockey tonight so he was around long enough to get Wesley ready for bed and read about a dozen  books then he left and I sent Walter up stairs to finish his homework.  And that's all it takes these days!  He reads the homework, does the home work, then reads the alternative work and the next days work and keeps going. He sees the clock and notices it's past the time I would normally come get him to get himself ready for bed and he comes down to check on us, I had fallen asleep in Wesley's bed.  I wasn't really a fan of trying to crawl my big belly into Wesleys bottom bunk with a side rail on it but I'll admit I'm loving the snuggle time.  As I lie next to him and whisper stories and prayers in his ear all he wants is to cuddle closer.  Tonight he needed a little extra, probably because it's Monday and Mondays are a bit tough on all of us.  So as I laid on my side, snuggled up to him, he grabs my arm and wraps it around his waist.  It has to be right there.  No where else.  If I try to move or scratch an itch, he grabs back for it and wraps it around his waist again.  So that's how I fell asleep.  Trying to lie as still as possible with my arm wrapped around his waist, we fell asleep together.  And my big boy comes and gets me to put him in bed next.  Does it get better than this?

A SHORT update on each of us otherwise:
Walter: loves love loves Karate, Pokemon, Rainbow Loom (he's' made every design in his book at least three times without help), and anything and everything Lego Movie.  He still enjoys his swim lessons.  Started soccer on Sunday and loved it.  He's working hard on bike riding so he can get his training wheels off and get a new bike.  But he's still pretty nervous with out the training wheels.  I try to encourage him by reminding him how much easier it will be to ride without them.  It's over 2 miles round trip to the park and up hill almost the whole way there: yet he still keeps those training wheels on!  His prayers every night   are that he passes his karate promotion test (next Monday, if you have a few spare prayers, he would appreciate you also pray for him), that he finds a way to be kind and "fill a bucket" and that his baby and his brother are OK in the next day.  He'll add in some sort of school drama or friend drama he has on his mind and also for the Lego Movie Video Game :)  Tonight he prayed that God would tell him why toe nails are important and if they aren't important, why does he need to have them?  Could he just take them off?

Wesley: loves super heros, his new scooter (mine bike), dogs, cars and balls.  He talks non stop and only half the time we have no idea what he's saying.  He's stopped eating pretty much any food but cereal and olives.  He does not like to potty but does like chocolate.  In fact it might be hindering PT'ing because he goes and sits on the potty if he wants an M&M and not if he actually has to go.  He'll learn when he's ready.  He knows about every animal there is and approximately zero colors.  Loves to 'count' with any random order of numbers.

Evan and Sarah:
Life.  It's busy yo!  Last friday as I was filling out a dozen summer camp and activities applications I realize we don't have  "big trip" planned this summer, as we should expect considering the pending arrival in July.  I like to get out of town though during the summer.  Evan and I are planning an overnight the weekend of our honey moon but besides that not so much as even a camping trip because who wants to camp 30+ weeks pregnant or with a new born?  So on a whim I emailed Evan: "Legoland for spring break?".  He was supposed to write back, no, we just went to whistler and I'm going to St. Louis that Thursday.  He's supposed to be the common sense to my crazy.  But instead he wrote back "sure, should we go all week or just a few days?"  So I blame him.  And now we are doing a very short trip to Lego Land for spring break.  Fly out Tuesday am, land by 9am and come home Thursday afternoon.  Evan flies on to St. Louis from there.  Even if it's short, who knows when the 4 (5) of us will get away again so we have the chance to go and we should, we will, go.  I am though, going to burn through my vacation before maternity leave starts.  It's OK I'm not as worried about hording it as I was before.

We have also been busy trying to decide to or not to sell our house and buy a new one.  It's definitely a sellers market.  I know if we wanted to sell we could.  But we aren't "those people" that can sell our house and sit and wait, in a rental or renting this one back, while we find one to buy.  Too many risks.  What if rates go up?  What if we can't find what we want?  What if something happens to the baby?  We need to be settled to a place when she comes so we can host visitors.  And this is what it's like out there.  Houses USED to go on the market Friday, they'd have a showing over the weekend and take offers until 5pm Monday.  So if you liked it you had 24 hours to decide and make an offer, with an escalation clause up to about 15-25K above asking price.  And there would be a good chance you'd lose the house because someone with a cash offer or more to put down or a quicker close would beat you out of the house.  I'm not cut out for that market.  I need to think, to stew, to analyze and over analyze.  And that USED to be the market until the past few weeks.  Houses go on the market Wednesday now, and they don't make it till the weekend.  The Realtor has already told all their Realtor friends who all have a client interested and there are multiple offers before the sign hits the yard.  It's nuts and I don't want to play like that.  We realize that this means we are probably in this house for a good long while.  And I'll have to get over the fact that 3 kids will share 1 bathroom that barely holds 2 people at a time and I'll live with the potty chair in the laundry room because there just isn't the space for the two of them to pee at the same time.  And I'll accept the list of other things I've convinced myself I want in a new house that our house does not have.  Because we have such a great school and plenty of room to "live" and helpful kind neighbors, and we have just what we need here.

I already took more time than I wanted to here, I have a book to finish and want to get some sleep tonight.  I am finally done running in the mornings.  I took a few days off last week when I was sick and then my hips rewarded me by protesting to anything more than a mile.  So I'm taking a week off of working out in the morning while I figure out what's next.