Pictures?

I updated pictures from September!!  I just need to add photos from vacation.....more on that to come.

Vacation overview and a quick baby update

We are 2 (3?) days back from our mid-winter break vacation.  No matter how much I try to talk myself out of these trips, they are worth every overly analyzed, overly packed minute.  I never want to spend the money, or question there where and the how.  We decided when we confirmed confirmed baby #3 was happening we were going to start "traveling local".  We would explore our own surroundings instead of hopping on a plane every time we wanted to go somewhere.  So we ventured to our own backyard; Whistler, Vancouver BC.  It's actually sad that in 8 years we've not already been.  It's definitely something we will do more often.  Evan is going to have to talk me out of buying a place up there: if it only we had an extra $700K lying around wondering what to do with it.  

It dawned on me yesterday not only does being a 2 full time working parents household mean that we don't get enough time with the kids day-to-day, the kids don't get enough time with each other!  That is definitely not something I considered when making our daycare choices.  They enjoyed their week together, we enjoyed our week with them and, as always, we enjoyed having Nana and Pappap with us.  That doesn't happen nearly enough either.  Wesley grew a lot this week.  He's talking more, but understanding more.  Like yesterday when Evan denied his request to have a cupcake for lunch he asked for Nana so he could ask her for a cupcake for lunch.  

Walter is warming up to being a skier.  He likes it just fine when he's not miles above the bottom of the mountain, and can see where he's going.  He's going to be in lessons a few more years before we'll take him out with us, but he's actually learning how to control his ski's and his body and how to work the mountain.  Wesley will probably be on skis now if we let him.  He wants to do what ever his big brother does.  He loves the snow and would build snowmen every day if he could.  

Evan is really the only one who "real skied".  He liked Whistler. But he missed the familiarity of knowing where to go right away, how to get there, and being by himself he didn't venture off too much for fear of not being able to get home.  So we have to go back some more so we can make it ours.  

On our way home Evan and I were able to have a night alone thanks to nana and pappap taking the kids home.  We enjoyed Bellingham WA; possibly the most hippy city in the country.  Evan didn't believe me until he saw for himself.  It's a beautiful place full of pretentious hippies who are all better than everything so the food is great, the shopping is unique and the most important thing is we slept uninterrupted for the entire night.  We watched a movie in bed, we showered slowly and got ready leisurely.   

In other news: the boys bunk beds are set up, the mattress for the bottom bunk comes Wednesday (thank you Amazon reviews and free shipping.  It's so easy to do these things at 8am on a Sunday).  We had a small closet reno while we were gone.  Although I was sure I wanted it done, Evan wasn't sure I'd be happy with the results and how much space I gained.  I am actually very pleased with it all.  I love having a closet door I can shut, being able to get dressed and ready and not wake anyone up, and seeing all my clothes at one time.  We have some final decisions to make on the final storage solutions but so far money well spent, in my opinion.   It is still quite a bit dusty, even after 2 major overhauls with a dusting rag.  I think tonight I need to vacuum.  I still smell the sawdust when I walk in the room.   With the closet remodel came a major purging of all things.  Clothes, shoes, junk.  I'm on a major "throw it away if it's not useful or pretty" kick.  I sorted all the boys clothes last night and I'm waiting for tomorrow to figure out if it's a "store it for the next boy" situation  or "get it out of the house as fast as possible" situation.  

And that's the baby update.  I still have an anterior placenta and can't feel the baby move.  And it makes finding a heart beat very stressful for my midwives.  I had a normal check up today and wasn't able to get a HB count.  We could hear it intermittently but it just wasn't something consistent enough to lock down a count.  Tomorrow though we have the anatomy scan so that we will be able to see all of the baby and make sure everything is where it's supposed to be.  I probably won't sleep much tonight!  

Now that we have the end of this "diet/experiment" in sight I'm really loving the recipes and keep finding more I want to "try".  But last night Evan and I had taco salad and we gave the boys shells (Walter ate 4, and over the weekend he had 12 chicken "nuggets".  He is going to eat us out of house and home) and Evan was really grumpy he couldn't have one, and they smelled really good to me, if we hadn't used all the shells I might have snuck one.  So the moral is, more recipes to try but we get to add in other things too, and we don't have to be so strict.  And I don't have to pack 4 lunches anymore, if I don't want to cuz I can go back to loading up groceries at work, that don't require cooking or seasoning or grilling or broiling.

I'm still off wheat/bread/grains for the most part.  I went away this weekend with some girl friends and did surprisingly well!  I ate a pretty decent amount of Noosa, about the best yogurt you'll ever eat, and I ate some granola too.  We had pizza Friday night but I only had 1 piece.  The rest of the time I ate pretty well within my newly defined criteria.  I've become obsessed with Kale (although I'm not gonna lie, a little feta or goats cheese would be fantastic with it) and Evan is warming up to kale especially when cooked.  He's also found a few ways he likes to eat brussel sprouts (with bacon, everything is better with bacon) I can't believe that I love sweet potatoes as much as I do.  I'm almost 35 years old and spent most of those years thinking I didn't care for them.  It was a very good lesson for Walter to learn about trying new things. I am back on dairy but don't find that I "need" it.

Evan: has his hole day of what he's going to eat planned for Sunday and it starts with a latte with real cows milk :)  Pizza maybe or a fried chicken sandwich.  Have I mentioned how proud I am of him?

We are all settling back in to a routine.  We've had 2 short weeks at school which was a lot to manage.  Back to full time now though.  Walter is OBSESSED with the super bowl and the Seahawks.  Wesley's birthday party has defaulted to a football theme (who are we?  We are a hockey family not a football family!!)

I'm full on obsessing over the boy's new room.  I have all the ideas, but can't actually make any of them work due to space/availability/ lack of skillz.  If anyone sees any brown or grey or orange chenille/minky sheets for twin beds..... let me know.  After Walter wanted golden paint, we decided he might not get a say in the color scheme.  Orange is close to golden, right?  Bed has been ordered and should be here in a few week.  We want to have Wesley in his bed when we get back from Whistler.  We are going to put his bed in his room for a month or two and then we'll move it over to the joint room with the bunk beds.  We run a huge risk of Walter falling in love with a loft bed by doing it this way but I think the transition will be easier for Wesley this way.

How January Changed – Keibler Style

I’ve sat down to write this at least a dozen times but haven’t finished.  The truth is I’ve been sadly neglecting this blog and the more time that passes the more I have to say but then when I sit down to write it seems so un-important.  I’m going to avoid that line of thinking and write it anyway if for no other reason than to remind myself what I want to say.

2013 ended in a true to the year fashion: pretty amazing.  We had a great holiday.  Truly great and possibly my favorite ever.  We were only “home” for 5 days so we focused on family and didn’t get a chance to see any friends.  As a side note, I’m working hard on only packing things the kids and I use.  Controlling the clothes and shoes and un needed extras.  I’m  happy to report that had I actually gone to church on Christmas Eva like I intended I would have worn everything I packed.   The boys wore or used everything including shoes and toys.  I’m getting better on figuring out the necessities.  It’s a good thing too because we are having a 3^rd baby this year and Evan’s #1 concern was that we don’t physically have enough space in our car to pack for one more person for a week vacation.    So – back to the holiday – Christmas it’s self was just how I imagined it.  Low key, slowly opening gifts with grandparents, snacking through out the day.   Reading, napping, playing games.  Dinner with my sister and her family.  It was really just a nice mix of relaxing and spending time with people we don’t see nearly enough.  My only regret is that Evan and I didn’t get a lot of “alone” time like we thought we would having a town full of babysitters!  We spent 3 days and nights in Minneapolis with my family.  Walter loved the nickelodeon park with his cousins, evan and I got to do some shopping just the two of us.  We spent the night with John and Allison and really really wished it could have been longer, or more frequent.  (note to self, make that happen).

We came back home refreshed and ready for a new year.  Evan isn’t big on resolutions but I always try to do a theme or something to work on for the year.  My work we do a word of the year.  This year I’m working on “relaxing” and on “less”.  I want to get rid of stuff in our house.  If I look at it, touch it, walk over it or move it to put something else away, and think “I might need this” it goes away.  I’ve already cleaned out 3 garbage bags of things in our master bath, our room and the kitchen “excess space”, where we store our crap.  It feels so good. We’ll continue this through the month of January as we get ready to put the boys in the same room and get the other room ready for a baby this summer.  We spent last weekend re-working the living room.  We bought a tv to have MORE screen time than less (GASP) and we are buying a few new pieces of furniture.  One of our biggest challenges as a family is every day is the 6 o’clock hour.  We get home from work/school/daycare.  Sometimes (ok almost always) I forget that Walter has been gone from home and “on” for 10 hours.  That’s a long day for a 6 year old.  He’s tired.  He’s been learning or playing all day.  Wesley too.  And me three.  We would come home (rush home) and  try to get dinner ready while the boys played and ran around the house and made messes they didn’t want to clean up.  It’s becoming more common that walter wants to do something alone or something that is age appropriate for him, but not for Wesley, and Wesley wants to do exactly what walter is doing.  More and more this hour is the cause of so much frustration for all of us I gave in and decided this is when they get their tv time.  Walter can do school work on the computer and welsey can watch a show and I can prep dinner (more on that in a bit).  It’s honestly saved our sanity and I don’t feel nearly as guilty as I thought I would about it.  I don’t like to use tv as a baby sitter but we all need time to decompress and this is their time.  To not have to be told no fourteen times,  for me not to play referee and to not have burnt or under cooked food, because I forgot what I was doing, it's been totally worth it.  And actually I’ve noticed the boys are a bit nicer the last few hours of the night when they get their own time. 

 Walter is loving being back at school.  He is saying lately he doesn’t love his afterschool program though.  I’m looking for another option for him but also getting him in some activities.  We got a lot of games for Christmas and it’s been a nice change of pace to get in to a new grove.  He loves his Robot Turtle game and opts to play that with dad instead of watching a show before bed.  Of course, I’m not quite good enough at the game to play with them anymore!  I knew it would happen but not at age 6!  IT’s a great game that teaches the start of programming skills.  I usually sit and make rainbow looms or read my book while they play but I could watch Walter’s face in concentration for hours.  To see those wheels turn and watch as his mind makes decisions is so fascinating to me. 

Wesley gave up his pacifier for the new year.  That has come with it’s own set of challenges. He doesn’t really nap anymore and that makes bed time come sooner.  He also doesn’t go to sleep as well as he did before.  It takes a few more books and a lot more snuggles to settle him down.  I don’t mind the extra time with him but I miss the way we used to all do bed time together (both boys and Evan and I) but now he needs a bit more quite time.  He also HATES to go to bed when his brother is awake so we started having Walter fake his bed time too.  When I close wesleys door to rock him, Walter gives him a kiss and goes to his room and closes the door for about 10 seconds.  It’s adorable and it works better than having Wesley scream for walter for 20 minutes.  In addition to taking longer to go down, he also wakes up more and fusses for quite awhile.  He has on average 2 wake ups a night and I noticed last night it’s about the same time every night.  Right at 11 when I’m starting to fall asleep and sometime around 2:20.  I was getting up patting his back and snuggling him in with a lovie but now I just let him fuss to break the cycle.  He is getting better, shortening his time to about 5-7 minutes of crying instead of 20.  We hope that continues as he learns how to self soothe.  This weekend is a 3 day weekend and we are potty training boot camp.  We haven’t been as diligent as we should be on this lately.  We know he’s ready to at least have the concept introduced to him.  He likes to sit on the potty but doesn’t really know when to ask to go so we are doing that this weekend.  If it doesn’t work we’ll revisit in a few months when we have another 3 day weekend. 

Evan and I are settling in to the new year too.  Evan took on a challenge, not for the first of the year, he’s had it planned for a few months now, but it’s more timing of opportunity.  He’s doing a 30 day diet challenge and this was our first 30 day window with no holidays, travel or birthdays since we originally made the plan ( back in September). For 30 days he’s going super sized paleo.  What does that mean? No dairy, wheat, legumes, sugar, alcohol (gasp).  The list of what you can eat is shorter than the list of what you can’t.  Me: I’m doing a modified version.  I’m already off alcohol until at least July but I really wanted to kick my sugar habit.  I made it 9 days without cheating at all and I’m damn proud of that.  To the skeptics I can say I most definitely felt different after those nine days, pregnant or not, it's been a nice experiment for me. The first 3 days were brutal but I knew to expect it.  I was sluggish and down and just wanted to sleep.  Sugar does some crazy things to my body.  The 4^th day I woke full of energy and day 5 I started sleeping much better, not waking up every hour (unless a kid woke me up).  I noticed by day 7 I hadn’t taken my daily allergy pill in a few days and my skin looked and felt better, no more itchy dry spots.  I did loose about 2 lbs so Evan got insistent I eat “normally” while continuing to make meals at home that are in support of his diet.  And to not rub in his face if I had a baked potato stuffed with cheese.  I still don’t really have much sugar but I do have dairy  on occasion (I had 1 slice of cheese on my eggs today, but I am traveling so that makes it harder to eat clean anyway) and I had a bowl of granola over the weekend.  Last Friday I had rice at lunch and soy sauce.  On Monday we went to lunch for a work event.  Although I made a good meal decision we had to wait far too long for our food and I needed something  to tide me over so I had some bread.  I was miserable for the next 2 days.  My skin allergies were worse than they had been in weeks, my stomach and digestive system was a wreck.  I’m not saying it’s because of the bread, it could have been anything but it was enough for me to pay closer attention to what I’m eating.   I'm not die hard, I gave up the need to "compete" and am just making healthy choices but not starving or depriving myself. 

Evan, hasn’t cheated once.  He reads labels, he takes his lunch and breakfast every day.  He loads up the vitamins and probiotics.  He’s a bit grumpier at times, we expected he would be.  Some days he feels full and feels great and others he can’t get enough food.   

This is over in 2 weeks and I’m not sure what will come of it.  I know we will continue to be conscious of what we eat but no one likes a highly restrictive diet.  The hardest thing for me is being dog tired and not having take out as an option.  We’ve found some amazing recipes and we’ve learned to cook a lot more than we ever knew.  We work together and that’s been a lot of fun.  We shop together, and we take responsibility of what we buy.  The boys are both meat eaters anyway.  Throw in some yogurt and apple sauce or pureed veggies disguised as apple sauce and they eat mostly what we eat.  Lunches they still get sandwiches or crackers with cheese but walter loves steak and pork and chicken so he’s not eating much differently than we are.  This week was a lot better than last in terms of time.  The first week was all consuming.  We shop every 3 days and  I was always cooking or prepping or packing food.  The fridge is stuffed full and we eat through veggies and fruit daily.  Over time I’ve become more comfortable in the kitchen.  I made 4 days worth of meals on Sunday and prepped all the lunches.  I’ve learned how to quickly make any kind of egg you want.   Now I can get dinner to the table in about 35 minutes and lunches and clean up take far less time since a bulk of the hard work has been done.  All veggies washed and chopped and cooked for 2 or 3 days at a time.  Meat is pre cooked or pre seasons or pre brined and ready to heat up, sauces and dressings pre-jarred and ready to add to the meal.  Doesn’t make for a ton of fun on the weekends but I can imagine I’ll get better as time goes on and no one ever said this was an easy thing to take on.  A major diet and lifestyle overhaul is not supposed to be easy or everyone would do it. 

 I’d say the progress for effort is definitely paying off.  The unintended consequences are my favorite: More time together, we have a “hobbie” that is both of ours, we are becoming better cooks, more knowledgeable about what we eat and how our bodies process food. 

The complaints:  It eats in to most of Evan’s social encounters.  One of the rules of Weight Watchers is to not make food part of the reward or the experience, or the focus.  Evan has realized that food is a lot of his social encounters.  He eats lunch with his team and they all eat out (now he eats at his desk so he’s close to the kitchen to warm up his food).  They do “Bagels and Baileys” and he skips out since he can’t partake.  We went to a 21 and over movie theater where you can order food to your seat, and he sat there grumpy eating apples and walnuts.  When you take away the food or the drinks it makes a lot of those social activities a lot less fun.  He goes for coffee with friends and orders an Americano instead of a Latte.  We don’t go out for coffee on Saturday mornings because the coffee shop we go to doesn’t have coconut milk. I asked him what food he missed and he said “Maybe cheese?”.  So nothing was so strong he couldn’t wait to eat it.   So is this maintainable long term?  Not 100%.  ON our last date we went furniture shopping.  Icecream was out, a fancy dinner was out, so we wandered around Macy’s instead.  I do think we can use an 80/20 approach though.  We can eat what we want when we are out or traveling or on vacation but at home we cook like we have been, because it’s getting easier, and it tastes good!  A burger and Pizza would be fine on occasion but probably not every day.  That’s how we should eat any way!  I think once he sees what it took to get the weight off he’ll be less likely to want to put it quickly back on again.  One week in he’s down 10#. 

I'll be back to report how we finish this experiment. 

 

In pregnancy news; I'm 16 weeks (17 tomorrow) and feeling so much better.  I am starting to show/just look chubby.  I have gained 2# (back up from he 2# I lost) and I have more energy now.  I work out about 3-5 days a week and sleep in 1 weekend day a week.  Baby is healthy and growing and do the anatomy scan in 2 weeks.  More on that in time, as well. 

 

 

Braggy McBragerson Here, Nice to meet you

I'm really just here to brag on my family for a bit.  Do you mind if I do? 

Evan and I have not been adjusting well to having a Kindergartner in our house.  we kept saying Walter was having a hard time adjusting but truth be told we think it's us, not him.  He comes home tired, cranky and not at all the well behaved polite little boy we know. 

I decided to go in to Walter's school one day a week to help out with Computers.  I'm not sure I can keep it up and it's proving to make my week more difficult but Walter loves it and I secretly love it more.  I love seeing him in class, knowing his friends, knowing his teacher.  I am holding out hope that as i make this a priority I'll learn to adjust my expectations around everything else and give up a few things to make this a priority.  Getting in at 9:30 1 day a week isn't the end of the week especially given the hours I put in during the week, anyway.  

So I'm super proud momma today.  Ms Lowy tells me all the time the witty things she loves about Walter.  I mean I know he's amazing but with 27 kids it's easy to blend in. Today she told me that, she's not supposed to have favorites, teachers don't have favorite students, but if she did, it would be him.  Swoon!  What I love about the way she loves him is that it's not because he's perfect, it's his qwerky, silly, wittiness she loves.  She loves how he tells her silly stories and asks her genuinely about her day and her life.  He wants to know about her dad, and her dog and where she gets coffee.  He's not the star reader, or the kiss up or the first to volunteer for the assignments, but he's sincere in his kindness and he makes her laugh.  That's the kind of boy I want to raise.  It's so often tempting to push him harder to do more, read more, practice more, play more sports.  To excel more at anything/everything but I forget, we forget that he's pretty darn awesome just as the boy he is.  We can't train his heart and he can't practice truly caring about people.  I'm super super proud of that boy.  I'm also super proud that he's the top of his class in math testing right now. He's mid way through the 1st grade curriculum; higher than any of the other kids in his class.  Math is something Evan and I have a hard time gauging. we easily know how he reads and how he writes but it's hard to test math  aptitude in a 5/6 year old.  

i'm also a super proud of Wesley.  He knows about one million words.  major word explosion.  He knows his body parts, almost every animal, about 3 colors and he most definitely knows what he wants and can tell you.  He no longer wakes up happily chatting to himself, he now wakes up screaming "mommy get me" and then laughing uncontrollably.  I love his laugh.  I'd pretty much do anything in my power to make that boy laugh.  It's infectious, it's incredible, you are unable to be in a bad mood when that boy laughs.  I'll have to get it on video soon to share the joy.

While I'm bragging on my boys; I'll brag on the big one, too!  They went bowling for work today and evan got the high score of his whole team.   I know, he's amazing right?  I mean all the team.  high bowling score.  It's like I live in a house full of over achievers and I'm just sitting her trying to figure out how to spell achievers correctly.  I tell miss Lowy that Walter gets his wit from me.  I do think I'm pretty funny (think being the operative word) but really it's Evan.  Evan is super witty.  He's just not as outgoing as I am which means a lot of folks can't fully appreciate his humor.

Let's see what else have we been up to?  Walter turns 6 on saturday.  We have a big weekend planned.  An overnight at Great Wolf Lodge with his buddies and then dinner at Rainforest Cafe on Sunday.  Evan is convinced that by the time Wesley is 5 we'll be taking his class to Disney land.  I blame him though.  It's possible I went overboard.  Slightly possible.  We could blame Evan though.  He told me no more big parties at the house where I invite the whole class.  He's trying to avoid replacing the carpet, or more broken furniture.  So....i did what he asked.  I planned a party that isn't in our house, and does not invite the entire class!  Neighborhood maybe, but at least not his entire class :)

On that, i have a 6am flight to Orange County tomorrow so bed is calling me.  G'night folks!

Time Out

It's a typical Seattle fall Sunday; grey and rainy.  It was a-typical today with the monsoon we saw at the soccer fest and pictures!  Evan is at a hockey (early game) and the boys and I are snuggled in to a movie, Wesley's first one (so I probably have about 10 minutes of attention span left) and I thought I'd try to get my thoughts down now so i can refer back to them in a few weeks when I feel differently.

Thursday night Evan and I were hustling around the kitchen each doing something equally important and we bumped in to each other.  It was sometime between Wesley being in bed and Walter needing to go that direction.  We looked at each other with the same desperation and decided we'd both really really like a good break.  We decided 1 night where we had no responsibilities.  And not just out to dinner or disregard the chores after bed time, an entire night where we don't have to wipe a butt, cook, clean, read, tuck-in, tuck-in again, just do what we want....together.  Alone.  For an entire night.

You know what?  Parenting is a constant job.  Shocking I know.  I was surprised when I found out too.  When we signed up for this gig we thought they just looked cute, listened to instructions and required annual birthday and christmas gifts.  Turns out, they actually need attention too.  And lots of it!  If I'm in the room it's pretty certain Wesley is in my arms or crying to be.  And do you want to know how many events I've been late to, completely forgot about or unintentionally double booked ourselves to in the last 3 weeks?  It's be easier to count how many did not fit that definition.But it's not just that, it's the running around from one task to another and I just miss Evan.  I miss real Evan not "what's your schedule this week" Evan.  Or "can you text me the measurements to the window" Evan.  We had  a "date" friday.  We met friends for a concert.  But admittedly and ashamedly I didn't enjoy it as much as I should have.  I had to leave work early, run to the bank, pick up kids,  run kids to eat, to Adventure kids, then pick up Melissa, rush through rush hour traffic with constant texts/calls from the guys updating us on where we could or could not get in for dinner before the concert started.  It started off stressful, I started off grumpy and then just when we started to really enjoy ourselves the music was ending and  we had to deal with getting out of the parking lot getting the boys and then of course at 11:30pm neither of them were sleeping.  Bed time came all too late and included far too much drama.  So our night out, although tons of fun, only left us feeling even more in need of a time out.

And please forgive me for how whiny this sounds.  Children ARE a blessing and I know that.  I remember how hard we tried for this second child of ours who loves us so much he never wants to be an inch away from us.  I know how hard we are still trying to complete this family of ours, and that's probably what makes this that much harder.   If I'm begging for a break this much with only two of them what will it be like with three of them? I do feel horrible even thinking let alone "saying" I need a break from my children.So please don't judge us.  We just miss each other.

So back to Friday, we had a good time.  We felt young, we felt kid free for even a few hours jamming to a great band in the rain.  But (and I know I shouldn't do this,  Evan tells me I shouldn't do this.  When will I stop doing this? ) when I tally up how much this cost us with tickets, dinner, beers, parking and child care, I think, I could have had the house cleaned weekly for  2 months for that price.  I do love Adventure kids.  My kids love it too.  They love my kids!  They let Wesley play with the big kids or they let Walter come to the baby room to eat pizza with his brother. They treat them like family.  But I really really need a sitter.  And I need a sitter who can put my kids to bed.  It's not that hard, is it?  I know I do it all the time but I think my kids are pretty easy to put to bed.  It's HS sport season so Rachel is busy all the time, and Johanna went back to New York.  We also need to make our marriage a priority.  And not just like an hour a night when the kids are in bed talking about what kind of flowers I should plant for fall, like really connect, forgoing all others and focusing on each others needs.  

So that's it for my whiny desperate plea for a break.  And I feel better having written it, as I suspected I would.  And we do have a lot to look forward to.  We leave Friday for a mini vacation to Colorado Springs and weather is looking to be perfect.  Just the 4 of us to get away sounds perfect right now.  And in November I'm meeting the girls for a no kid talk weekend.  My parents are watching the boys so Evan will also get a no kids weekend. Next time we are doing a no kids weekend TOGETHER!!

After we get back from Colorado it's hard core getting stuff done time around here.  Halloween costumes, plan for a special 6 year olds birthday party at Great Wolf Lodge and then we will be busy surviving this crazy party with walter and 5 of his closest friends and their siblings at Great Wolf Lodge.  What were we thinking???

boys

Some days, most days actually, I love the ratio of boys to girls in my house.  There is very little pink, hardly any frills and absolutely no dolly's or princess dresses.  I'm generally OK with it.  I love to play cars and super heros and legos.  Walter loves crafts so I'm able to be plenty creative with him.  While not a huge cuddle-er my boys do share lots of hugs and kisses especially with each other and I"m never lonely because if I'm in the room Wesley is right there, preferably sitting on me or being held by me.  But some days, like yesterday, the boy-ness of my life overwhelms me.

The amount of food they do and will continue to consume.  The potty talk.  (A school ager is making this worse.)  The wrestling and the swords and the "shooters".  It's like they are born with this need to pretend shoot or stab or swing at things.  And because walter was sent to the principals office for the first time yesterday it's just all so overwhelming to me at the moment.  Walter sings like a canary when something goes wrong so he full on admitted "you are not going to like this, mom" when I saw him yesterday afternoon.  "today I went to the principal's office, and not just for fun, but to actually get in trouble".  I never got a call, or a note or would have even known had he not told me.  The story as I heard from him and a few other kids goes like this:  Gus (how cute of a name is that??) wanted to be the golden ninja but it was Walter's turn so Gus asked Walter if he wanted to fight for it.  Walter did this little hand flutter like swatting a fly thing he does, then Gus full on punched Walter, and then Gus told the teacher that Walter was fighting him.  So....both boys go immediately to the office.  Zero tolerance on fighting, so....it's exactly what we would expect.  We weren't sure what to do or how to handle it.  For one we didn't hear from the school so only have Walters words.  Two, although we don't condone fighting we need to let him defend himself, don't we?  We told him we aren't sure Gus is someone he should be playing with after this, and that made him more upset than any punishment we would have given him.  So Evan decided to let him choose his punishment and he actually chose to loose all privileges for the night.   Today I called to find out what  happened and why no call home.  Mrs.  Porter, the secretary said yesterday was a "bad day for the kids, we actually looked on line to see if it was a full moon".   She said if it were a violation of the school rules we would have gotten a phone call.  Walter didn't go to the Principal, he went to the counselor who usually takes the kids who either witness a fight or were a "victim".  I said still if he were a victim, shouldn't I know?  She said he probably was involved and as bad as it is for her to say, "those little boys just looked so darn cute sitting there with their heads down sure they'd committed the worst crime, as they waited for their teacher to come get them".  But that if Alexa hadn't called yet, she likely wasn't going to, so go easy on him, he probably just made a poor decision with his friends and peer pressure.  I know this won't be the last time I'm in this situation.  I'm proud of Walter for so much around this.  I'm proud of him for telling us, and for sticking up for himself and for choosing the appropriate punishment and for today telling me "I'm really going to be a good friend and a good student today.  I don't want Ms. Lowy to be upset at my decisions today".  I was so worried about Walter thriving in Kindergarten but he's doing amazing.  He's been ready for awhile and he's so excited to go every day.

Wesley has had a word explosion.  He Loves Love LOVES to just sit and look at books.  He runs to the bathroom when Evan says it's potty time so he can just sit there for as long as it takes and read.  every kid in his class has a cold but him, but it's ok because I have it instead.  He has a girl friend, every morning she waves "Hi WesUh" and they hug.  It melts my heart.  Kathy says they sit together all day, she always wants to be right near him and cries if he's not doing what she's doing.

We lost our most-amazing-ever baby sitter Johanna. She went back to NY for school.  Evan has been playing hockey on Thursday which thrills us both but it's always the night I have something to do as well and we both can't be gone at the same time.  I'll admit briefly last night I thought, Walter would be fine watching Wesley, who will be sleeping, for 20 minutes, won't he??  I know he won't but It's seriously 20 minutes we need someone for and the girls we know don't want to stay till 10pm on a school night.

This update is very heavy on the boys and not much on us, sadly.  I feel like we just got un burried out of our camping laundry pile and we are leaving next week to go to Colorado for 4 days, so have to start it all over again.  I plan to have tales of adventures in the mountains like horse back riding, hiking, the cool CO springs zoo and lazy afternoons at the resort.  If you don't hear from us for awhile it's a good chance we decided to stay at the Broadmore forever!!

Officially a school age-er

As a very very brief overview we all really like our new "schedule".  Partially for me because I neglected to give up my lazy summer hours.  I don't feel worried talking about this for fear it might end because it will end, it has to end, and I've accepted that but as of today, I'm enjoying the freedom this new schedule affords me and I'm going to talk about it!

In no particular order:  The Bus
The bus, when it's on time, comes at 8:41.  Like WOAH That's so much time in the mornings.  We lazily get dressed, fix smoothies, fix breakfasts, pack bags, and play.  Today I had to find more chores for walter to do to kill time!  I took 2 days last week and so far 1 day this week and I don't mind it one bit.  I get about an hour of work done before I go in, after I run, and then get to spend a not crazy hectic morning with the boys and get to sit in the sunshine chatting with neighbors as we wait for the bus.  Having early risers does have it's benefits!  I know this won't continue and I need to buy a new umbrella because you can guess how excited I'll be for my bus days come October and November.  But for now, let's enjoy.

The drive to work.  The days I don't do the bus I take Wesley, I pack him up in the car, make 1 drop off and then happily cruise on in to work.  I get to take the easy exit with fewer cars, I get a good parking spot and I'm not tired before I even get there from running around like a crazy person.  I can enjoy my smoothie in the car and even carry my purse and my gym bag because I'm not loaded down with stuff for water and nap and snacks and lunches and various outdoor craft activities.  Wesley even carries his lunch because he loves it that much.  He calls it Elmo (it's an owl) and practically grabs it out of your hand if you were to dare to try to carry it for him.

Lunches and snacks.  I did kinda die inside when I found out I not only have to pack a lunch but also snacks for Walter.  But  I love our new system.  I pack 90% of both boys lunches on Sunday and then throw in either a sandwich, or quesadilla or a thermos of something left over in the morning.  Walter helps by choosing what he wants, getting it out and putting it in his lunch box, which then gets packed in to his packit.  He is responsible for grabbing his snack and it all works out, so far.  I know in about 4 weeks I'll be dreading lunches but at least I don't have the drama every night of what to pack and trying to squeeze it in the last minute.

2 kids on the same side of town
I actually get to leave work with the rest of the working people.  We still fight construction traffic but that luckily is almost behind us with it finishing within the month.  Sooo happy for that

Bed time
Walter HAS to be in bed by 8:30.  He's exhausted by then so it's usually not an issue but more so is finding the time to get homework done and still find time to play and have fun with friends.  This is mostly on me.  I have to realize we don't get to live during the school year like we do in the summer.  We can't go to get fro-yo at 8:30 or have an impromptu play date or even run special errands.  I'm the worst offender of trying to pack too much in to too small of a time frame so when I get big ambitions like Evan and I sneaking off tonight to meet a friend for dinner and drinks, I have to be pulled back in to reality that there are books to read, and rooms to pick up and bed has to happen by 8:30.

The Night Before Kindergarten

The Night Before Kindergarten

 Has summer seriously just flown by as fast as it did?  It’s crazy that in less than 12 hours we’ll be sending our oldest off to Kindergarten.  It means a lot; it means least of all that summer is over and most of all we have entered in to the next chapter of our lives.  We have a school aged child

On Kindergarten (the School)

I have been preparing for this all summer and even most of the spring if I’m honest.  I’ve been to 2 PTSA meetings. I’ve been to a number of “meet the class” play dates where I could mix and mingle with other parents.  I’ve read and learned and talked to everyone I could to find out every thing there was to know about the teachers.  I do love the school.  I love that it’s a “closed” school meaning you only can go there if you live in the area.  No one can enroll in.  It’s one of 2 schools in the district (out of 12) that have the “prism” (talented and gifted) Programs.  Full day K is standard in our school, which it isn’t it the state.  It costs $360/month for kids to go full day.  In our school there are 75 kids in K and only 2 are half day.  There are 3 classes of full day K and they get full enrichments: art, music and gym, each week.  Because the Prism program is growing so quickly the school is full.  Beyond full.  Walter spent 2 years in pre-k (preschool) at the same school he’ll go to now but that programs is no longer at Spiritridge.  They had to move it off site because they need the room that used to house that program, for students!  This means that Walter will spend the after school program differently.  They will be in the gym, library, outside or in the “MPR” (lunch room).  He’s actually excited for the library! 

On the Kindergartner

Walter is ready.  He’s excited, he’s nervous.  He can’t wait to ride the bus, but he’s afraid he’s going to miss it and that he’s not going to know which bus to ride (nevermind the fact that there is only one bus that comes up our hill and it’s his).  He is going to LOVE the bus, I know it.  2 kids from his class are on his bus, and about a dozen of his neighborhood friends are on the bus.  We thought Walter was never home this summer (more on that later) I expect that to continue as he meets even more kids from school on the bus this year.  He is nervous about uncommon things, like lunch.  He’s afraid he’ll get lost or that he won’t know what to do.  It makes sense, I was the same way.  Before I learned to drive a stick shift I was worried about the actually shifting of the gears when I should have been worried about how to work the clutch.  Guess the apple doesn’t fall far, huh!  Walter has grown up SOOO MUCH this summer.  I see him with his 7 and almost 8 year old friends and I can’t believe he’s only five.  And then in the same thought I think about him turning 6 and I almost have a panic attack.   Walter is back to giving kisses (all the time), loves to be touched, to be held, to curl up with you, to have any sort of body contact.  He asks a million questions in five minutes and he really loves it when the entire room knows who he is!  We see this musician Eric Ode a lot and everytime we see him Walter says, Hi, it’s me, Walter, as if they are long lost friends.  Walter took it a lot better than I did when almost all of his besties are in the other K class.  Elliott is in one class, Cooper, Nicholas, Cruz , Mei, Lilly and Sophia all from his class last year are in Miss Filters class.  He has Ms. Lowy.  I know they had to split up Walter and Nicholas but I broke my heart a lot when I found out it was only him and 1 other boy from the “old” class in the same class.  I felt like he was being excluded. Silly I know and I do have to get used to that because I’m sure there are going to be many more situations like that in my future. 

On being the parents of a Kindergartner

We are ready.  I think we are ready.  Aren’t we ready?  Lunch is packed bag is packed and school supplies purchased so I guess we are ready!  Except the lunch box he insisted on using does hold a thermos or water bottle or the fancy lunch container I bought to avoid using ziplock bags.  So….I’ll proceed with the super cool but far less functional Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle lunch box until he decided he doesn’t want his water bottle to come separately.  

I was not prepared to be this worried about him.  He’s been in full day “school” since before he could walk.  I know he’ll be fine but I feel nervous for him!  He’s only 5, and he has to get off the bus, walk to the back of the school and wait for someone to let him in, find his class, ect…  every day.  Soon it will be no problem but for this week, when it’s new and uncomfortable I wish I could walk every step with him.  But I won’t.  And he’ll be fine.  And I’ll be fine.  

On Summer

Summer.is.over.  It’s been such an amazing summer words can’t describe.  The weather….we’ve been here 7 years (more on that later) and this is the best summer we’ve ever had.  EVER.  It was actually summer weather.  I actually wore shorts, a lot.  My kids wore sandals, and swim diapers and shorts and tshirts and sunscreen every day.  They have awesome tan lines and sun kissed skin.  Wesleys red hair looks even more red after all the sun bleaching it’s had.  We did so much.  We traveled, we stayed home, we played outside, we had adventures, we rode bikes to dairy queen and to McDonalds and to the parks and to friends houses.  We camped we had sleep overs and we spent time with people we love.  That’s it in a nut shell!  BOTH the boys grew up so much this summer.  Walter plays independently.  He started the summer being escorted to a friends house where one or both evan and/or I would sit and chit chat for a few hours until he was comfortable enough for us to leave.  Now, he asks if he can go play, we set his watch and he comes home when it dings.  OR a friend rings the door bell to ask if Walter can come out and play.  And he’s gone for hours.  We hear childish laughter all through the neighborhood.  Another big difference is that Walters shadow now wants to go where ever he goes.  Wesley has been known to grab his shoes and walk out the door chasing after walter when he leaves.  He’s also been known, with no shoes and wearing nothing but a diaper, to walk up to the trail behind our house and ask for berries that grown wild on the path.  That kid!  I’m really going to miss summer.  I’m going to miss not having to cook because it’s too warm in the house, and sleeping with all the windows open, and sitting outside chatting with the neighbor girls for hours and it still being light when we take the kids in at 9 (ok we rarely made it in side before dark this summer, but we intended to).  

On the littlest Seattle Keibler

We entered in to the phase, we’ve heard much about it but never experienced it with Walter, where there are little tiny cars every foot through out the house.  I even found 4 on the lawn tonight.  In the car, the highchair, the bath tub, the laundry room in addition to every other expected room in the house.  Wesley loves cars.  He loves choo choos, he loves books, and he loves to talk.  He will repeat, or try to, every word you say.  He says Yea and No with so much conviction that you would think he knew exactly what he was saying! I can’t get enough of him and after a 3 ½ day weekend tomorrow is going to be horrible!  If you come to our house within 3 minutes Wesley will probably ask you to read him a book.  His new thing today, he threw a fit at breakfast because he wanted…. A waffle.  He said it clear as day and as soon as he got it, he smiled and “mmmm’d” and we all had a peaceful morning.  Wesley went to Becky’s all summer and he loved it there.  He was the only kid his age.  There was one baby and the rest were 2-4 years old.  He ran outside all day, got lots and lots of attention.  She’s a bit  of a flake and she is more expensive than we want to pay but I feel that pang of heart ache again when I think about Wesley leaving her.  He lights up when he’s there and now he’s going back to the baby school where he’s one of 6 or 8 and he’s going to be sad.  At least for the first little bit, he’s going to be sad and there, again, isn’t anything I can do about it.  

On the biggest
Evan spent literally the entire weekend working on our new door.  His dad helped him big time even get the thing in.  Then he had to do the finishing touches.  He did all the trim inside, outside and on the floor all day yesterday.  Today he painted the door and it didn’t go well.  It’s steal, supposed to be pre-primed but didn’t hold color at all.  4 coats later and a series of changed plans we hung it and took the tape off but some of the paint came off with the tape around the window, which was trimmed with plastic and Not Primed.  Ugh.  He’s not happy, he’s not talking about it.  He says he worked all weekend on it and it looks worse than the old door.  I feel really really bad.  This is my project, I wanted this and he worked so hard on it and he’s unhappy with it.  And then Vickie, Oh Vickie, comes home and says, “blue, do you like it?  It’s not at all what I would have done”.  This is the same person who said I’m sorry when we told her we were having another boy.  We call her “oh Vickie” because of things like this. 

OK I know there is more to say.  But for now I’ve got some snuggling on the couch with an understandably grumpy husband to do.  I’ll be back to update about the first day 

Avoiding something I should be doing?

OK I'm not gonna lie, the only reason I'm "here" is because there are 10 other things I'm avoiding doing.  I have my computer because I'm supposed to be doing some work....because I had to leave work early today....because our summer schedule is killing me....so i left with a lot undone.  BUT the flip side is the craziness allowed me some time to not rush this afternoon/evening.  I had to be home by 4pm to relieve Rachel for her PT appointment.  Against my better judgement I chanced it that most of the construction mess would be wrapped up by 4pm and I would be able to pick up Walter and head back out to get Wesley without too much time wasted waiting for construction traffic.  That bet paid off because I was home by 4:10 and to becky's by 4:45.  With both boys content I decided going back to the office would allow me a few more emails while they were entertained by the new environment.  Again that worked out.  They ran and played while I fired off some emails and then, THEN we had time to not rush.  We went to watch the buses and the people that ride the bus.  We went to get a cookie, and played in fountains and got lots of ooohs and ahhhs  and "oh so cutes" from strangers.  We had a nice meander through down town Bellevue with no agenda.  It was nice.

Our summer has been amazing.  Amazing and busy but so much fun.  Walter is rarely in bed before 10 pm (don't judge, it's summer!!) and he's outside, riding bikes, riding scooters, playing creative water games, playing hockey you name it.  The neighbor kids are all pretty attached at the hip.  And since he's been keeping pretty well behaved and minding rules, we've been looser  with him.  We have 2 great baby sitter that help us out on the crazy days/weeks and we've tackled a lot of things on our summer bucket list.

Wesley also enjoys summer.  He needs at least one bath a day and if we are honest probably two.  He's in to EVERYTHING.  He has his own blueberry bush and it's his favorite thing in the world.  He also has stolen every tooth brush in the house; it's his favorite toy.  Walter asked me to please buy him one that was "just for him" because Wesley keeps taking them.  He's getting more words and more intentional in his interactions: asks for things, uses manner, uses his temper; boy does he have a temper.  Yesterday I was doing yard work and he was playing.  He decided that he NEEDED to use the new paintbrush, bought to paint the house, to sweep the sidewalk.  He repeated got in to things I told him no to so I finally took him inside.  In 35 seconds he went from screaming on the foyer to the kitchen to push out the screen to the window, climb on to the deck to try to run around to the front of the house!  Evan found him on the deck steps.  He's crafty and mischievous but also so cuddly.  And he's a ham.  He'll wave and say hello to any and everyone and he looks at you like you are the only person in the world.  He has the most amazing hugs and he gives full on wet slobbery kisses.

I wanted to also update about Ragnar.  Officially one week over now: hard to believe.  I was on a team with almost no one I knew.  Everyone was a friend of a friend.  We had all met a few times for some random track work outs or training runs.  But despite that it was a blast.  I went in to it with a horrible fear something was going to go wrong.  I some how managed to be captain of a team where over half the girls had never done Ragnar before.  I felt like their experience was solely on my shoulders.  If something went wrong it'd be my fault, if they didn't have fun, my fault.  Friday I was a pretty big mess.  First run was BAD for me.  First, I took a wrong turn.  I spent the entire drive up and at least an hour before we started talking, prepping, warning about knowing your route, not getting lost ect. and then what did I do?  I got lost!  I took 1 wrong turn (with 4 other people) and it ended up costing me an extra  mile.  This was less than 2 miles in so the rest of that run, I couldn't get my head straight.  I ended up at just over 6.4 miles for that leg and it was supposed to be just over 5.  I felt slow, sluggish, and on a bad start to a 16+ mile day.  Our van finished about 9:45 pm and had estimated 5 hours until we had to run again.  It was weird for me:  The previous 2 years I ran our times were completely different.  First, we started at 11am instead of at 8 or 9.  So we didn't even get the batton until 5pm.  I was used to being done around 7pm in time for a late dinner and then our 2nd leg was after midnight.  this time we went to the only place open at 11pm on a friday night in Burlington WA, Outback Steakhouse.  I got a baked potato but it took forever.  So our 5 hours of rest was diminished to 2 hours once we got to the gym and I decided not to shower.  I think i got 45 minutes of good solid sleep in before we had to pack up and start out for our second leg.  My stomach was a bucket of nerves, this was my long run (7.8m) and i hadn't run more than 6.5 training.  I was tired, not well nourished and just not in good spirits.  I was the same leg I was the first year I ran Ragnar so that actually brought back a lot of good memories.  That run, at 3am was amazing.  I had the BEST time.  I passed people every few minutes, the air was cool, there was a salty breeze off the water and my legs just kept going.  I had negative splits clocking my fasted 10K in years and finishing at just over 8:10/mile average for the almost 8 miles.  I was euphoric.

From there, things went a little down hill.  The runner after me, running at twilight, got injured on her 2.4 mile run so she was out the rest of the day.  The running, jumping in a car to drive a few miles, get out, get back in, navigate the map, text the times to the other team, record to our spreadsheet: it all combined with the cocktail of imodium and pepto I'd been popping and we got to the second rest area of the day and my stomach was a wreck.  I slept for about an hour in the car, got up and tried to walk it out.  Nothing seemed to work until I found some folks doing some light yoga and joined in.  after about 20 minutes I knew I'd be able to at least finish my last 4.7 miles all down hill.  I was right, it was a nice run (on the highway) and I was just glad to be done.  Gave it my all and finished strong.  Unfortunately that wasn't the end of it.  We each had to help cover Nadia (injured runners) 6 mile stretch and then there was an incidence with the other van not being at the correct exchange and me having to pick up a mile (bare foot) while they drove our runner over.  At the end of the day I clocked in just under 22 miles.  I was sore,  and tired but it took me days to be able to finish a full meal.  I left the house less than 12 hours after I got home to fly to Dallas for a work trip.  I came home Tuesday and have been here since.

I will for sure do Ragnar again if given the chance.  I learned a lot as the team leader and I hope that I have the chance to do things better next time.

I really really should get some of these emails out.....I have pictures to upload, too, and maybe I'll get around to that sometime before school starts!

3 more days of school

I have all kinds of exciting things to say, and then sit down to write, and they all disappear.  We start summer in 4 1/2 days.  In 4 1/2 days things get crazy.  Looking at my schedule gives me panic attacks, so we are taking it one day at a time.  We are already pretty burned out of end of school festivities.  Last Friday was the carnival, then the ice cream social Monday.  Today was the graduation ceremony followed by at pot luck tonight and then I organized a play date for Monday evening.  I have 6 play dates planned for the summer for the preschool kids to get together, but in hind sight I should have let some time pass after the social/potluck/carnival craze passed.  Our school is going through a lot of drama right now with enrollment being super high, no room for the kids, and the prism (talented and gifted program) growing and brining in too many sibs.  I feel really really bad for the principal.  I saw her today and she's worn haggard. 

Our House:
Got painted, we have to replace the door and decide what color to paint it.  Betsy mocked up some pictures for us for an idea of what we want....now we just have to agree which will be the hard part.  Our garage door broke on Wednesday.  Evan broke it, I'm claiming, but I saw it broken so had to take most of the morning to fix it.  It's now down but can't go up until he fixes it.  I hope it soon, we have a garage sale next weekend and we have got junk truck the following weekend and it will be way too hard to carry all of the stuff out of the garage without the big door being able to open. 

I don't really think anything changed but the past few weeks mornings have been all off.  Maybe Walter is waking up earlier, putting me behind schedule and Wesley and I out the door later than I'd like but when the morning goes badly the whole day seems to follow.  The construction is killing me.  It takes and extra 15 minutes on the nights/weekends to get anywhere but if you dare need to come or go home between 7:50 and 5:15, plan for 30 extra minutes.  It's OK by October I'm sure I'll be used to it! 

The Grown Ups
Evan and I celebrated 9 years of being married.  Nine years!  That's a lot of years.  We went out for dinner at a place I've been dying to try (it was OK) and we went to watch the end of the Penguins/Bruins game after.  His co worker told him he was stupid for getting married during the playoffs.  Saturday Lizzy and I had the most amazing night out.  We went to a farm to table dinner with wine pairing.  We had a blast, ate great food and drank (too much) fantastic wine.  It starts at 4 and a celebrity chef comes to prepare the food fresh from their farms.  We were at a snout to tail pork dinner, which normally isn't my favorite but it was actually pretty good! The goats milk made the cheese, all the veggies were fresh from their organic garden, and the pigs were theirs too.  It was so great (pictures to come)

Work is.....weird?... for Evan. He's had big important demos be rushed through and then canceled, today he had to miss a big demo with lots of visibility for the preschool program, and he's just not sure where things stand right now. 

I am doing fine at work, hardly ever on time, and trying to figure out the logistics of interviewing for this job.  They are doing interviews in San Fran the 25-26 of course when we are on the East Coast.  SO I tell them I can't do that and they ask if I can "swing by" on my way to or home from vacation.  I don't think I want to do that nor do I think Evan would be thrilled with me leaving him to travel on a 6am flight with 2 kids, 200# of luggage  and kid crap by himself so I can interview in Boston next Friday....But I'm not sure how accommodating I should be so they don't say "forget it, you can't make it work".  I'm currently the top candidate. 

The Kids
Walter is looking forward to summer.  He's got a smattering of activities to keep him busy.  He's going to Becky's 2 days next week with Wesley, then school camp, then lego camp then school camp then soccer camp, then science camp, and finally another week of school camp.  Wesley will spend the summer at Becky's who now lives even further away, and I'll spend my summer in the car :)   Good thing I like my car. 

Walter is in to : Minecraft, his bike, and playing outside all.the.time. 
Wesley is in to: balls, balls, any type of round object, and toothbrushes.  He is sad when is brother is outside without him and eats anything you put in front of him.  He doesn't drink much at all.  He has 1 cup of "juice" that I make for him in the morning and 1 glass of milk between getting home and bed time.  He pretty much takes a bath in sand every day, we are starting to build our own sandbox from what he brings home in his shoes and his diaper. 

I somehow managed last night to bake 2 dozen cupcakes and  a pan of brownies (twice, the first one was no good) for a bake sale on Saturday,  cut fruit for a fruit tray for Walters party today, and make pizza muffins for a potluck tonight.  I have to stop by sports authority for a baseball coach gift and pick up a gift certificate on my way home from work for the Tball party tomorrow and pick up the kids, plus 4 other kids because most of us are saying:  what were they thinking starting a potluck at 6pm on a Friday?  There is no way I'll get food made in time.  So a few other parents are stopping to pick up food and will likely be late for pick up.  Oh and today was cleaning lady day so the house was picked up, laundry clean, and I even ironed Walters shirt for today. 

It's safe to say I forgot Fathers Day until yesterday so those cards and gifts will be late (sorry to the fathers in our lives)  I'll do better next year (I'm pretty sure I said the same thing last year)

It's a race

It's a race to see if I can finish this post before the computer battery dies.  I am using Evan's "monster" because my laptop is dead and it's wayyy to much work to dig out the charger to make it have power again.

On Food
I got a really great compliment today which reminded me I need to go out of my way more to notice and comment on the things other people do really well.  I was told by one of Wesley's teachers that they all appreciate how I pack Wesleys lunch with healthy "made at home" foods and  not lunchables or things from boxes/bags.  Don't get me wrong, there is good amount of individual sized pirate booty bags in this house and Walter gets a fruite leather and/or a cliff bar every day, but I appreciated her comment none the less.  Especially because sometimes it just seems like it's easier to buy lunchables or pack lunch meat sandwiches every day.  Wesley and Walter each get: a fresh fruit or veggie (if left over from the night before) a "main" dish (mini egg muffin, bean and cheese quesadilla, bagel with cream cheese, or home made mac n cheese), yogurt and some sort of "snack": cliff bar, fruit leather, pirate booty, popcorn, or TJ's rocketship crackers.

I tried this week to go 5 days on no coffee and no refined sugar or white flour and only minimal carbs in general.  Fruit veggies and a meat or eggs.  I was doing great until today when I was cleaning up from dinner, found a piece of candy and without even thinkin popped it in to my mouth.  Of course after I had 1 I HAD to have another.  So then, I poured a glass of wine :)   I doin 1 "juice" in the morning that's 3 servings of fruit and 2-3 servings of veggies.  Wesley also loves these "juices" and Walter tolerates it/is warming up to it.  I want to buy a fancy juicing blender to that they have a better consistency and fewer green flakes but I told Evan I'd commit to 2 full weeks before that.  I have done 10 days, since we missed 2 days while camping.  The third day this week was miserable.  I was a total bear.  I wanted to stuff my face with bowls full of sugar.  Last night I dragged myself to Hot Yoga, even though I thought there was no way I'd find the energy sans coffee and sans sugar/carbs but I did and I came home and went almost straight to bed.  Today I woke up feeling amazing.  And that's what I remember hearing: the first 3 days are miserable and after that you start to adjust.  So this semi cleanse really got me itching to do a real cleanse.  I'm trying to get Evan on board too but I think the most I can get him to commit to is 10 days, none of that 24 days garbage.  I have to do some more research becasue I heard you aren't supposed to work out for the first 10 days of a 24 day cleanse but I've got Ragnar looming and need to get some serious miles in before then.

On The Boys
All of my boys are good.  The biggest one, Evan, is loving the NHL playoffs (I am not) and will be switching our cell phones to Verizion tomorrow since he needs a new phone and doesn't like the options from AT&T. So that's about as exciting as it gets in Evan's world.  He had to mow the lawn 2 days back to back because it's the rainy season and it needs mowed every 2 days, but rains every day, so there is hardly time.

Wesley is amazing, so happy so fun, so good at cuddling.  He "talks" all the time.  he repeats anything you say even if he doesn't know what he's saying.  He has proper inflection and just thinks he's carrying on a conversation with you.  His favorite things are: Balls, toothbrushes and his brother.  He was calling Walter Uh-Wa, but now he is trying Walter.  He wanders around like a sad puppy dog if he can't see him.

Walter is a five year old boy.  Have i mentioned that if I live through this age it will be nothing short of a miracle?  The attitude has started, there is at least one melt down a day but it's usually followed by the sweetest boy you've ever met.  He thrives on positive reinforcement so we are working remembering that.  He won't say he loves me any more and he won't give kisses any more.  I try real hard not to take it personally but.....I still do.  he's FIVE!!  Five is too young to decide you don't love your mother any more.  He is so strong willed and will not give up if he wants something.  This past 2 weeks we've really had to set the record that we are in charge and that we set the rules and it hasn't been fun at all.

The positive: he's almost tying his shoes by himself, we are taking his training wheels off this weekend (I know this is late but he just started riding his bike about 3 weeks ago so that's huge for him).  He loves: arts and crafts, legos, trying to get his brother to do things he's not supposed to and playing chase with his brother.

On the house
I spent a good 2 moths looking at every house on the market and at every house to come on the market to determine that we will probably stay here for a few more years, until we only have 1 in day care at least.  I think our house would sell fast; it's in the "sweet spot" for houses in our area, maybe a tad on the high end.  But there is nothing on the market in our range that we'd consider enough of an upgrade to make the process worth while.  The only things we'd want to buy are in the $150-200K higher than our house range.  So we are having the house painted next week (or, if it ever stops raining) and we are doing some minor yard work.  We've kinda maxed out our summer house budget with the gutters, and the painting and getting a new door, next year we'll get the drive way re-done and work on the landscaping.  We are starting to talk to contractors and engineers about our kitchen remodel and based on what that yields us, we will start the remodel this fall, or next depending on what the demo engineers say about structural ability to do what we want.  We might throw in a small master closet reno this winter if I can prove to Evan this will add to our closet space (I think it will, I just have to convince him of that).  I also broke the oven door so need to fit that in somewhere.  I smashed it with a pot lid and now there is glass stuck in the door.  2 things happen.  1- it doesn't stay open because the weight distribution is off and 2- everytime we open or close the door more glass falls through, even though we've used the wet vac to suck up all the glass many many times.

We went camping last weekend and it was so worth it.  I came back wanting more time to unplug, and just play with the boys with no distractions.  But then; the lawn was a jungle, the laundry was 3 feet high and Evan got sick.  So then i REALLY wanted to be back in the wilderness.


OK I beat the battery; i win!!

We could use some SERIOUS prayers

I just heard from the summer camp program that the toddler program is full!!  This is horrible news.  We have no shortage of options for Walter but there are not a lot of "camps" for toddlers and even fewer daycares that allow for 2 or 3 month enrollment.

I'm not freaking out right now but very well will be soon.  Pray someone backs out so we don't have to use all of our vacation taking care of Wesley this summer!!

Tomorrow is another day

Right now I'm in one of those moods where I'm sure the only the that will help is to go to sleep and wake up tomorrow to a new day.  And I plan to do that very soon.  I'm so tired; I've been so tired all weekend and I cannot figure out why.

I had a whole bunch of things I was going to say: a mini recap of the weekend and some general venting but none of it seems important now.

I'll say these few things: I really do like being the house where everyone gather.  It really is nice and a dream come true, really, to have enough connection of people in the same circle, but Im having a hard time this weekend dealing with the fact that; just because they want to be here doesn't mean they want to be with us.  

I should be grateful, and I AM grateful to have so many friends that are all friends with one another. but I'm struggling today.  I had a bad day Friday.  Just a "woe is me" day of feeling unimportant.  I had already invited half of the school and half of the neighborhood over for a fire pit.  It does work out nicely for us because  Wesley can sleep and we can have friends over and Walter can play.  But people don't leave.  Because they don't want to be with us, they want to be with everyone else.  As soon as 1 family starts, the rest leave, but no one wants to be

A runners Tragedy

I decided I did want to put down my thoughts on the Boston Tragedy, mostly because this is also a place where I look back to remember my own thoughts.

What happened at the Boston Marathon is a tragedy.  Anytime innocent people are hurt and killed by deliberate actions or not, it's a tragedy.  My heart breaks for those who lost loved ones and those who were so badly hurt they may never walk again.  I found myself wondering who did it and why, but it doesn't really matter who or why, does it.

A lot of my feelings are going to sound a bit snobbish, and I apologize in advance.  If there is anything I am a snob about, it's running.  I feel this tragedy on such a personal level.  I wasn't there, I don't personally know anyone who was hurt and everyone I do know that was running is "safe" from bodily harm.  But I not only morn for those lives lost but for what was taken from all those runners.

The Boston Marathon is, to so many runners, the ultimate goal.  A dream of mine, which I might never achieve,  is to qualify for and run the Boston Marathon.  I've been offered sponsored spots before, where someone pays lots of money for a spot "just to run" but I won't run it like that.  I only want to run it, to start at the starting line and cross the finish line, if I've run a time fast enough to qualify.  I know hundreds of runners, and lots of distance runners and a handful of marathoners, but only a very very few Boston marathoners.  Every Boston Marathoner I do know shares common qualities: they commit, they excel, they give and they don't ever give up at LIFE.  I admire their skill and inspire to have half of the character that they have.    It's a lifetime goal and a lifetime achievement for so many of the people that crossed, or didn't cross the finish line yesterday.  A number of years ago I had the privilege of watching one of my best friends in the whole world run Boston.  The entire weekend I was in awe.  The air was pumped full of encouragement, the crowds were cheery and fresh faced and ready for anything. The entire weekend is the most joyous of occasions, an event to celebrate and it speaks to the true character of the city of Boston.  I left for Seattle Monday evening with a high that lasted for weeks; I could not stop talking about the experience and I was a spectator.  Not even a runner, a spectator.

All of those runners yesterday, no matter when they crossed, or didn't cross the finish line, will never be able to have their "moment of a lifetime".  Can you imagine the thousands of hours of training and maybe even thousands of dollars spent to get to that point.  To be stopped at mile 25.5 with no idea of what had happened, to fear for the loved ones who were waiting for you at the finish, and then, after having run for almost 4 hours, having no where to go because your hotel was on lock down, or you couldn't catch a train to get where you needed to go.  Or imagine what it was like to be one of the finishers at just over 4 hours who saw people be thrown in to the air or to run up to the carnage and see blood soaked runners, workers, and fans.  My heart breaks for those runners, for all the runners of the 2013 Boston Marathon who started this journey because they are part of this cozy little running community that gets infected with desire to do more, go further, try harder, and they followed their dreams all the way to complete and total heartache.  I've been choosing today to listen to the heartwarming stories about people opening their homes to runners, sharing clothes and food and listening to them cry.  To watch the videos of the people who rushed TOWARDS the blasts and not away from them, and then the stories of the finishers who gave away their medals to the runners who would never get to the finish line.

My favorite things right now

I had an entire blog post written about the Boston tragedy on my car ride home but then I got hit by something as I grumble running in to Evan in the kitchen for the upteenth time today.  As I said "I hate packing lunches, can't we just skip it tonight", and Walter heard me, and it hit me.  I am not going to write about Boston right now, I'm going to write about the things that I LOVE right now.

In no particular order, I love:
The poppy seed bread I'm eating that was baked from scratch for me (Well, maybe for all of us, but can I claim this loaf as my own?) .  I love it and I love the incredible love I feel when I eat it.

I love getting fresh milk, eggs, yogurt, bagels, and cream cheese delivered to our door every Monday.  It doesn't cost us much more than a trip to the store but it saves time, and it tastes GOOD

I love my new knives

I love the "mixed bag" blend of cheese from Trader Joes and I love putting it on pizza and calzones

I love Wesleys' laugh.  I love Wesleys feet and how much emotion he carries in those feet.

I love how caring and grown up and thoughtful Walter is.  I love listening to him tell me about his day, about what he learned, and all about his friends

I love that it's not quite dark yet at 8:26pm

I love that it's not currently raining

I love that there was a rainbow, hail, and sunshine on Saturday

I love the view from our "new" drive home as we avoid the construction.  It's a long drive, but when the sun is out, it's so pretty.

I love that our neighbors take our garbage cans out to the curb for us, and the pull them back too.  I love most that Enga, our 76 year old German single neighbor started doing it and we had no idea who it was.  Talk about random act of kindness and unsolicited kindness.

I love that Walter picked where to plant the sunflowers and pumpkins and in the late summer we (hopefully) will have a fun surprise as we see where they pop up.

I love that we found 2 angry bird puzzles in the back yard this weekend from the Easter Hunt
I love that one of the stomp rockets that landed on the roof Easter weekend is back on the ground now

I love when my phone dings in the middle of the day, or an unexpected time with a new text message

I love that when I get homesick and I tell Evan and he says "this is home honey".

I love coconut chips
I love cooking with coconut oil
I love whole milk in my coffee
I love all different kinds of lettuce and Evan, oddly, only likes two.
I love pretzle bagels loaded with veggies humus and yellow mustard
I love the smell of Subway sandwiches but don't prefer them as my sandwich of choice
I love the idea of a crockpot even if I have yet to master it

I love that welsey crawls right to his friends when I drop him off at daycare, no crying, no looking back
I love that Walter asks me at least once a week "do you think I'm ready for Kindergarten?"

I love that Walter, since he's learning spanish, thinks everything Wesley "says" is a word and that it's probably spanish or french.

My Love/Hate relationship with social media

(be forewarned, this is going to go on several tangents)

How should I start this???  I spent way too much time this weekend thinking about something that, 6 years ago, I probably would have been blissfully ignorant to.  I have Evan to thank for putting up with my pontificating and for helping me come up with the words I was having a hard time finding.  In full disclosure I haven't read "Lean In" by Sheryl Sandberg yet but i do intend to.  I am 3 books behind for book club and still would like to finish the Girl With The Dragon Tattoo series, and start and finish Hunger Games.  But right now I"m going to "blog" about this book that I intend to, but have no time to, read.  Or not really but I'll talk about the feelings it's stirring up instead.  Most recently from this article.

Sometimes I wonder if people (in general) were happier before social media?  Before you got your news reading about someone elses  reaction to it? Before you get to "know" your neighbors and parents of your kids friends by the pictures they post on Instagram or where they check in on Facebook.  I'll shamefully admit that far too often I've had the late Saturday night down in the dumps because I see a group of women I thought I was "in" with check in to the same wine bar and post pics of them selves wearing one outfit more expensive than my entire closet.  But I'm guilty of it too!  I'm guilty of sharing with Facebook world only what I want them to know, only the "clean" stuff, only the highs, and not many of the lows.  Only posting pictures when my hair is done and make up is on (so pretty much never on the weekends or 20 minutes after I get home from work).  

When I became a mom and still today I learn so.much from blogs.  So much that I wonder what moms did before blogs?  how did you know which toys were the hit?  How did you plan meals without Pinterest?  And your Elf on the Shelf would be so boring if you didn't have all your friends posting their pictures as inspiration.  Also, though?  Blogs are evil.  

Tangent #1: thanks to a BLOG (well Pinterest really but the pin was to someone elses' blog) I found a list of topics to use as conversant starters for date night. Why would you need conversation starters for the person you love, the person you married, the person you are spending the rest of your life with?  I'm embarrassed to say, I need them a lot.   It's because we could spend every minute together talking about our kids, our jobs, our house or our families and not 1 minute talking about each other.  So I carry around in my purse a tattered, torn, print out from a pastors blog with conversation starters.  One of the recent insightful questions was "what things do you read every day? Either one of us while reading our phones or tablets or computers would say "what are you reading" and the answer most always is a blog, or a website, or Readit.  So we each learned a lot by just asking: what do you read most often.  My answer: Huffington Post, NPR national and local news, Planet Money (another NPR site), FI360 (some boring work crap), Puget Sound Business Journal, and my blog reader with various "mom blogs", friends blogs,  and top news about my clients.  Evan reads: some political pundents,  some silly sites with what I would call college humor, ESPN, and NHL, Seattle Times and the NY Times.  He wins. 

So back on point, Blogs being evil: I know that's harsh.  And many of them aren't evil.  Many are fun and fulfilling and insightful.  But there are a few that are just mean hearted or ill intention-ed   I've struggled with this for awhile, there is always some sensational blogger out there who just writes posts to get her own agenda across, or to try to justify her own feelings by saying that the way she does it is right which implies the rest of us are all wrong.  Like that article above.  Saying you stay home because your family is "your favorite" is like saying that I don't because I really could care less about my family.  My family is my favorite.  And still, I work; outside the home, probably far too much, and most likely will for ever.  

I got really tied up as I watched the  Marissa Meyers and Sheryl Sandberg saga's unfolded on the web and in the moms groups I belong to.  It pitted Working Moms against Stay At Home moms and work at home moms and moms that don't work but hire full time help.  That honestly does no mom any good.  I'll save you all my complete feelings on Marissa saying only this: I basically feel she's a genius marketer and not a CEO.  She has to turn around YAHOO and she's drawing media attention anyway she knows how.  Eliminating work from home was far less a move to increase profitability and more of a move to show share holders she's TBIC and she'll make drastic "changes" to make it appear she's turning things around.  And it's working, at least for stock prices.  She gets people talking about her and hating her so that she can prove her point.  And she's a genius.  (but I have no respect for her.  I think you can lead a company as a woman with far less fear and chest pounding and she's doing women in leadership roles, or aspirations to be in a leadership role a disservice.  I'd love to be in B school right now doing case studies on her.  Maybe I should go back to get my MBA)But I digress.....

Back to Sheryl Sanberg: I will read Lean In and truth be told, I'll probably love the premise of it, because my basic instinct is to agree with her.  There should be more women leading  our industries and and our country and we should be telling young girls this as soon as they can talk.  We should be setting them up for a world where it doesn't matter if you are male or female or a mom or not, you should have the same pay, same status, and same job as your opposite gender counter parts.    Feeling this way, and saying this out loud will probably  make others think I'm a bad mom, and probably will make me think that something is wrong with me, too; because I feel the societal pressures to have it all.  For women/moms having it all includes dinner on the table at 5 (or 6:30), having kids to all of their activities never late and hosting a minimum of 3 play dates a week so you can fully vet every single one of your children classmates and their parents.  I won't pretend to know what "having it all" means to men because everytime I talk to Evan about this he says: Guys don't talk about that stuff.  Guys don't talk about how much stuff they have to do when they get home and how many birthday party gifts they have to buy this week.  Guys don't talk about weather to Lean In or not Lean In.  Guys don't talk about cooking only clean meals, or who has the best variety of organic veggies, or how their night was ruined because they burnt dinner.  (I'm generalizing but) Most men just don't.  

So much of  this article  resonates with me.  It brought tears to my eyes a few times.  But mostly what Evan helped me see yesterday on our date-day; (where I did bust out the sheet of conversation starters a few times and I did learn a few things about my husband It's now even sadder looking thanks to the rain and the hail and us being soaked waiting for, missing, and then waiting some more for the bus) and what this article says, is no one asks a dad why they work, or how long they plan to work, or when they'll go part time to be home more for the kids.  Why?  Evan has told me time and time again he'll gladly quit his job if I wanted to be the bread winner.  He's be great at it too. 

SO all this boils down to my love/hate relationship with social media.  It makes me entirely too aware.  It gives me chances to read others feelings and wonder if I've done the "right" thing or if someone else really goes have it all, and I just don't.  In 5 minutes I can go from feeling totally accomplished to feeling like I should instead be doing/thinking/seeing/reading/ baking something else.  

I  have actually felt more connected to people that I probably would have little to no connection to if not for social media, but I also wonder if the message I put out is what I really want people to think of me, or what people really would think of me if our relationship were 1:1, in person and real.  I pray that God helps me to remember this and that I work to make the two version of "me" the same.  I Pray for the confidence to own my feelings and my faults and not to hide them.  To work on them if I don't want others to see them instead of hiding them.  And I pray that I not get bogged down with how much everyone enjoyed their week in Hawaii while we were were drenched and cold because really, their kids were probably up all night due to the time change, someone probably got stung by a jelly fish and at least 1 person forgot their sunscreen: but that stuff never makes it on facebook.  I Pray I don't get discouraged by how wonderfully other families seem to eat based on the Pinterest boards full of clean eating meals, made from scratch substitutes and  DIY cleaning products, because there still is a starbucks on every corner and the NF Sugar Free Decaf latte certainly isn't paleo approved. One of my favorite quotes is - Character is what you are when no one is watching.  And combined with  - Judge not lest Ye be judged..... it's not hard to see how I should  be focusing my energy, huh!!